Today I am discussing something that has been a passion project for me: the path to presence. As I sit here today, I can tell you the journey that I have been on as an entrepreneur a woman a wife and a mother has been completely different from where I was last year or a decade ago. Seeking presence is a journey. When I am taking about presence, I am referring to the definition, “to be fully focused on or involved in what one is doing or experiencing.” Although your body is present; is your mind present? Is your soul present? I share some tips today.
I begin by sharing my background and experiences. My early days of real estate involved working 24/7. It worked, until it didn’t. I had no balance and it weighed on me heavily, until I had a breakdown. I had to re-evaluate and determine how to achieve balance and presence.
[6:25] – The first step on your path to presence is to get over feeling selfish as you are doing this. You must pursue YOU! You have to stop, think about yourself, think about what balance could look like, none of the rest of the steps are going to work. Really reflect on what will fill you up.
[8:24] – Make sure that you are getting rid of all expectations that you have formulated in your mind (or something others have told you). You cannot have a one-size-fits-all mentality. What works for one person will likely not work for you. For example, some moms/dads work. I personally need to work. Some moms can’t imagine the idea of working and taking time away for their kids. As a result, balance means something different for everyone. You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole.
[11:24] – Realize that presence it is not about work/life balance. I want us to think of work/life PRESENCE. Imagine walking on a tight rope. Balancing in the middle of that rope is exhausting! There is another way and you do not need to feel guilty about it. For example, when I am at work, it is so easy for me to feel guilty about not being with my kids. When I am at home, I am feeling guilty for not responding to emails quickly enough. Ease and peace come when you are all-in at work when you are at work and all-in at home when you are at home. You cannot do both at the same time without feeling like you are falling off the tight rope. The key is that you have already successfully navigated step 1 and step 2.
[14:27] – Start to design your life plan! The key to presence is being confident that the time you are spending where you are spending it is where it should be. If I am at work feeling like I should be at home with my family, how can I be present there? However, if I am at work worrying about that and my mind can say, “I am going to be home with them tonight and because I am all-in at work right now, I can focus on them fully later.”
[18:38] – Build your guardrails. When I picture myself driving down this road, I like to think of putting guard rails in place. My business is the road itself. On the left side is a guardrail protecting beautiful, lush green grass AKA self-care. On the right side, the relationships I value that fuel me. If you said you need to be home at 5:30pm, be done with work at 5pm! You have to be able to trust yourself and follow what you designed in step 4.
My goal for you today is to start your path to presence or continue on your path to presence and take it to the next level. It is so important to take care of yourself so you can make an impact and benefit the life of so many around you. Taking care of yourself is the first step. Embrace this journey towards presence, it’s worth it!
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