Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!
You may have heard a quote from Jim Rohn, “You're the average of the five people spend the most time with.” So when you think about “your people” it is important to note those that really make an impact on your life. Today we will discuss my experiences with the hopes of helping you better understand who YOUR people are.
I really don’t know if it’s ‘spending the most time’ with someone that makes the difference. I share an example. I started working with a business coach in 2013. We speak thirty minutes per week, and while my coach has changed over time, the fact that I communicate with someone who is a huge thinker, someone who challenges me, someone who encourages me, someone who is just on my team from a life and business standpoint, raises my average. In the same way, I joined a group of professional women who think massively, all coming from different industries but are entrepreneurs, who I spent 2 hours a month with and I felt like THAT raised my average. I would even consider the few hours of podcasts I listen to per week beneficial to my average and these people don’t know me.
To me, it’s not necessarily about ‘time’ spent. It’s about having an influential voice in your life in some sort of a consistent manner that can make a difference as well.
[3:30] It is important to determine which people are pulling you up and people who are pulling you down. To me, pulling you down means negativity, judgement, problems instead of inspiration, drama. Pulling you UP means inspiration, feeling good, mutual love and support. These are likely mentors or coaches in specific areas of your life. These, however, are not idols. I do not see them and feel jealousy, resentment or competitiveness. It is important to “prune” what you are consuming, specifically social media. For example, during pregnancy, I had to mute/unfollow someone that made me feel less than inspired.
[8:49] As you’re taking inventory of your people, what do you see? I heard from a friend of mine “The Rule of 33%.” He spends 33% of his time with people at his level, in his world. He spends 33% of the time with people who are ahead of him in business 33% of his time with people in his world, 33% of people behind or below him in business (nothing negative here, just facts). I loved this for 3 reasons: 1.) because you know I love tactical things, 2.) I loved that that final 33% is giving back and being that top 33% for someone else.
[10:22] I share some aha’s many people have about this. That they start to question where they are at. Your self-image is one of the most powerful things in your world. How you see yourself dictates SO much about your life and it is often inflated or deflated. I share an example from a Keller Williams conference I went to when I was 24. Whether it was a past experience or something you’ve always struggled with, try to take off all the expectations about what you look like, how smart you are and try to find some metrics. I meet with people who are the most charismatic people and they truly in their heart don’t believe it. I meet people who are so amazingly successful and they don’t see it because they think they need more. My answer to this is spend some time maybe with a close friend or a close “person” that wants to go through this exercise and ask yourself “what am I great at? What can I still work on? What areas do I want to focus on?” Use that conversation find some metrics around there.
[15:04] The biggest question I get when I chat about finding “your people” (not just who you spend the most time with but who you’re listening to and who is consistently breathing life into you) is, “How do I find mentors?” “How do I find that 33% above me? If I want to raise my average, how do I make that happen?” Here’s my answer: you asking the question is the first step. YOU ROCK! Just being intentional about raising your level is the strongest foundation you can have.
[16:00] Here are some of my ideas: Listen to more podcasts, read more books, follow more of those role models that inspire you on social, listen to ted talks. I can tell you, podcasts have changed my life and will continue to do so. Another way that I’ve loved that’s free is to join Facebook groups. If you want to do something locally in person, I would bet there is something currently happening in your town right now that you could tap into; whether it be a professional network, a moms group, a faith group, a volunteer group, etc.
[19:05] You don’t have to change where you work, you don’t have to get rid of all your friends and start new, but you do have to be intentional with who your people are! It’s likely that you’re hanging out with people who are on the same level as you are, so my first step would be go up first, find those inspirations, find those mentors, figure out where in your schedule you can build them into your life.
While Jim Rohn is obviously legendary, even if you’re spending your days with your toddlers, you will not average out to be like them. I truly believe it’s far more important to have consistent conversations with those that challenge you and inspire you than it is to think about it from a time standpoint. Just this focus will start a cascade of developmental growth which will raise your average without question.
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