Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!
I set a goal for 365 days. 1 episode per week for an entire year! When I got behind, I kept cranking. I didn’t need January 1st to start something new. Mid-October was when I set this goal. As crazy as it sounds, I set my standards “low” so that this was attainable and achievable. Start a new habit and make it right for you.
I have discussed in the past why this season is difficult for me. As I record this podcast in mid-September, I notice, as I have in years’ past, my “thermostat” is a bit low. I do currently have a hectic schedule and a lot of moving parts and I notice am not feeling right. So, I took out a pen and paper and journaled. I learned that this has been a difficult time for me for at least 5 years! Maybe it is emotions. We may not think emotions are not valid enough to be worthy to work toward a change or a shift that is external. But sometimes internal shifts are more important than external shifts.
[7:50] I explain and share an example. Externally, I may try to change schedule, both home and work,. I am realizing I could change all of the external things and realize this is just a season my heart is working through. By me assigning all the reason why I feel this way onto external things or finding things that are wrong outside of me and blaming those, that that can inhibit me from moving through the season smoother or quicker. The end goal is to go back to that thermostat level, the place where I am feeling happy. The place that is my heart’s home. So, instead of looking for something that is wrong to fix, I am just letting myself feel it. I am telling myself it is ok. Nothing is wrong. Working on some internal shifts might be a better solution than the external shifts.
[9:38] How do you know whether what you are working through needs an internal shift or an external shift? I do not have the perfect formula. I can tell you I already feel better than how I recall feeling other falls because I am not being so hard on myself.
[10:53] The first thought is identifying patterns. In my example, I identified the pattern of this time of year. My business coach uses an exercise where I close my eyes and visualize where I am. Then visualize yourself leaving your body, like a bird and you can now see yourself sitting in your chair visualizing. When I pull myself away, I feel like I take all the emotions with me. It allows me to see something I maybe have not seen before. Patterns may help you articulate if it is something internal or external and if you are reacting differently as a result.
[15:05] Find some therapy! For a while I was going to a therapist pretty consistently. And then I got busy and it became difficult to get there. All of a sudden, the fact that my husband didn’t put his toothbrush away made me so angry! We realized maybe I needed to be going back consistently again to work through some feelings and emotions that maybe built up. In a broader sense, a girls night out or a guys night out could also be real-life therapy. Watching TV, a good cry, exercise can all be a good example of therapy. Work out the internal shifts first before attempting to validate the external shifts in your life.
[20:14] The final thought I have is finding the time to just stop. In episode 48 “When You Just Need to Stop,” I discussed how I would never stop to feel or think. I was always trying to fix everything vs stopping and reconfiguring my mind and emotions. A friend shared that, “feelings are meant to be felt.” I think I avoided feeling, especially if it was uncomfortable. Keith Cunningham discusses writing in 3 “thirds.” The magic happens in the 3rd third. Getting there usually requires you to get to your heart and emotions.
When I encourage you to Pursue You, it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. It means to pursue your heart and your feelings. Sometimes you might notice that you need to make an external change, and that is ok. I am practicing not jumping to the external change first.
W Timothy Gallwey said, ““When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as "rootless and stemless." We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.”
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