Today I share a thought I had after driving past a sign during a recent visit to Florida. It read, “Its 12:00 o’clock somewh…just kidding! It’s 2021. Come on in!” It made me laugh but it also got me thinking. There is no denying 2020 was super had. Maybe you lost your job. Maybe you were able to keep your job. Either way it was a hard year for everyone. I want to remind you this idea that “hard” can look different for everyone. Brene Brown says, “hurt is hurt.” She also says, “comparative suffering corrodes compassion and connection.”
What I know today and what I want to talk about today is acknowledging where we have been and also acknowledging that it might be time for a reset. Even though this reset might not be today for you, when you ARE ready, I hope this episode is support for you.
At the beginning of 2020, I felt paralyzed. We had a lot going on in our world and 2020 impacted it all incredibly. Those first 2 weeks wreaked havoc on my body. I was in survival mode and in my attempt to feel better I focused on ONE THING…sleep! I slept 10-12 hours per night for about a week. But there was a cost. All of those habits I had created (morning routine, workout routine to name a few) imploded on itself. I was off my game and it shook me so deeply. It took me a few weeks to start to feel my body resetting. I also started to feel that my mind was somewhat resetting even while the pressures of life were there, still weighing on me. Once I got the sleep under control, I started to set super simple goals. Then I focused on eating the right things, then exercising. I was super graceful with myself and my body, understanding how difficult the circumstances were.
[11:10] Step 1 – Show yourself grace. Slather it all over you! What you are feeling is warranted and OK. I want you to take your guard down. I don’t want one part of you battling with another part of you. You might be saying, “Yes this is hard but I am not ready.” You will get to a point where you can say, “Yes, that was hard and now I am ready.” If you don’t honor what you are feeling you are going to hit that same challenge down the road.
[14:50] Step 2 – Confront reality! Now that your guard is down you are not judging yourself for what happened. As yourself, “how are you feeling right now?” Maybe you need to journal! As yourself, “What is it that knocked you out of your strong habits? What is making you feel stuck? What does it feel like when you are here, in this place feeling stuck?” I know, personally, when I don’t have the right habits I am not as patient as I want to be. I don’t show up for my family the way I wish I could. It then transitions into my businesses. Essentially if you can get super clear on what your reality looks like when you are staying stuck vs. what your reality looks like when your habits are stronger.
[17:44] Step 3 – Analyze reality. One of my favorite books is “Atomic Habits.” James Clear suggests a way to analyze reality in the way of a habit scorecard. You list out all the things you do each day. You list a + sign if it is a good habit, a – sign if it is a negative habit and = if it is neutral. As you go through you are able to start the process of habit resets. Does this habit cast a vote for or against my desired identity? Analyze your reality with a habits scorecard. Start small. Start simple. Maybe start with one hour of your day.
[20:10] Step 4 – Pick one thing. Pick an action that, such my doing it makes everything else easier or unnecessary. When I was at my lowest point, my scorecard was all negative. I was staying up late, working and worrying. As it turns out, sleep/getting to bed on time was the glaringly obvious habit that I knew would make everything else easier or unnecessary. Old Mandy would have joined more coaching groups, diversified income, etc. I had to step back and analyze to see the big picture. I share an example about some bad habits I had a few years back.
[27:00] Step 5 – Patience. Give it time! There is a time when you are going to feel like you are not accomplishing anything. “Your work is not wasted it is just being stored.” I share an example from the book Atomic Habits.
[28:44] Step 6 – Build! You are creating a new habit and then find that next habit! That next one thing. The moment you have gotten through one, guess what you are doing. You are resetting your habits. You are pursuing! You are getting yourself closer to who and what you want your life to look like.
Load on the grace, confront your reality, analyze your reality, pick one thing, give it time and BUILD! You are pursuing you when you go through this habit reset. We are never going to have all the perfect habits. But after a trauma or a hard season, it is normal for our habits to get out of whack. Unfortunately, it takes one second to knock the entire tower down. But it takes many seconds to build it back up. It’s not going to be a quick turnaround, but every bit of work is stored. I know 2020 was hard. I know what it feels like to be stuck and lost. Let’s focus on our habits to bring us back on our path of where we want to go so you can continue to find joy as you’re pursuing you.
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