A message I have been feeling most recently involves my cell phone. I have had a feeling about our cell phones being handcuffs. But, its self-inflicted! We are making the choice to have our hands on our phones. I define the verb “handcuff” – to hold in check or to make ineffective or powerless. What else does our phone make ineffective or powerless? Our phone can distract us from life. It is taking things away, robbing us of things that we consider important.
When I started my journey as a Realtor, I was on-call 24/7. I managed the madness…until it wasn’t able to anymore. My life somewhat imploded. I learned the concept of boundaries. The clients I worked with then and now just wanted the best version of me. What they really wanted is the best version of my team. If we are not sleeping, they will not get the best version of me or my team. I had to teach people how to treat me by setting boundaries, clearly communicating, and also determining the urgency of conversations. Then I had children. My time was scarcer. My energy was scarcer. The things and people that needed my attention increased.
Today we are going to discuss how to break your phone habits and get your life back
[8:21] Screen Time Analysis
In your settings, you can find your Screen Time Analysis. How much are you on your phone? What apps are you on most? What triggers you/challenges you most? Mine were messages! I would check my messages and end up scrolling social for 30 minutes. In an attempt to fix this, I did a challenge. I challenged myself not to touch my phone for 3 hours in the evening. I noticed I continued to reach for it, even when I actively put it in the other room. So, I offer a challenge/suggestion to you…Pick up your phone only at the top of the hour!
[15:17] Set Boundaries
First and foremost, teach people how to treat you. When you are setting boundaries, you are super clear on what you need. Expectations not meeting reality is often the main reason people get upset, both in personal and professional settings. What is most important though? To stick to it! If you text someone back at 10pm when you said you wouldn’t, your limits are gone. You have to follow through.
[18:45] Implement Systems
I began to brainstorm systems to help support my screen time plan. One was having someone answer my phone calls to filter out those that are important and those that can wait. Another system is to create a Google Voice Number. I use that number for leads to filter out things that are work-related when I am turn work off. Other systems are shortcut texts and post-it notes. One of the triggers for me, like I shared, was worrying about missing leads. Another trigger was remembering to do something or, organizing on the go. I use Google Tasks to make sure I am constantly checking on my status. BUT, it makes me pick up my phone and, in turn gets me distracted and scrolling again. So, I got a post-it note and a pen and use that instead.
[26:38] Bunker Yourself and Commit to it!
The scariest part of the challenge was that grabbing my phone was my natural tendency. Doing it with a friend is very helpful. Maybe get your spouse on board.
While our phones are so powerful, valuable and beneficial, I encourage you to take a stand today to say they are not allowed to make your hands or your eyes ineffective or powerless. Use your phone how you need to but don’t let it control your life! Break those cuffs!
How you show up in the world matters! In order to be your best self you cannot have these distractions weighing you down. You don’t have to throw your phone out the window and stay disciplined to retrain your brain and have this new relationship with your phone. That new relationship will have the handcuff feature disabled!
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