Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!
Today I want to talk to about pruning, and before I get into it, I have to call out the elephant in the room. If you know what pruning is, it has to do with gardening, but don’t be fooled into thinking I know what I’m doing when it comes to gardening. In fact, I’m so bad at gardening that I once killed a cactus. But today, I want to talk about pruning as a metaphor for your life. Pruning, by definition is when you trim a tree, shrub, or bush by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, for the purpose of increasing fruitfulness and growth. Today, I want to share with you four areas of your life that might need pruning in order to increase your ability to pursue your best self, and thereby give the gift of your best self, to those around you.
[1:50] I share a story about when I first came to understand the idea of pruning as a metaphor for life, and how it prompted me to realize that I needed change in my life, no matter how hard it was going to be.
[5:35] I introduce the four areas of life that I am going to challenge you to reflect on and see where you might need to do some pruning in your own life.
[5:50] 1. Commitments: The things you have committed to, be it committees, family, church, etc. are either fulfilling you or draining you. I share some of the excuses I made before I finally made the decision to leave the committees that were draining me, and I challenge you to examine your commitments and see which ones you need to step away from.
[10:52] I ask the question, “How do we know if something is fulfilling or draining?”. Then, I challenge you to ask yourself these questions in relation to your current commitments: How did I feel doing what I did today? How did I feel on the way there, after it was over? How do I feel about it at the end of the day? Did I show up better or worse after?
[11:45] 2. Habits – Which habits are positively or negatively impacting your life? This one is hard because they are small things, like hitting the snooze button, or checking email in bed, or not hugging your spouse enough. They aren’t massive, but they compound, and they turn into bigger problems. Ask someone else to help you notice these things. What is consuming your time at each segment of your day?
[16:20] 3. Content Consumption - You are in control of what you consume on social media, tv, movies, etc. I challenge you to reflect on how the people you follow on social media make you feel, how you respond to watching the news or certain T.V. shows, etc. Find the content that lifts you up and empowers you as you go throughout your day.
[23:00] 4. Relationships – If you met the people you spend the most time with at a party today, would you see them and want them to be the people that were influencing you? Do a relationship check to make sure your close, close friends are all people who fill you up. Are there people in your life that aren’t serving you? If they aren’t serving you, you can’t serve them.
Pruning is hard. It takes a lot of work, reflection and self-awareness. It takes counseling and experimentation to see what’s serving you and what isn’t. Here’s the harder part, for me at least. As you start to prune, you may go into panic mode and try to hold on to things that you need to be letting go of. Until you really reflect, you won’t have the confidence to do the hard action of pruning. Pruning can make you feel so empty, but what feels like emptiness at the time, that emptiness is really space. It’s space to make active choices on everything from your commitments, to habits, to relationships, and as they slowly fill back up, you realize your life is now filled with things that empower you and fulfill you. All your energy and time is being put to the best use and that focused energy goes towards the right things. I challenge you to see how pruning can change your life. It will give you space to design and pursue a life that allows you to give the gift of your best self to everyone around you.
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