Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!
Today I am talking with a special guest, Claire Ficker to discuss the Enneagram! The enneagram is a personality assessment. You may remember when I brought my husband on the podcast to discuss the DISC assessment on Episode 11. This is totally different, but equally as amazing. I am so passionate about connection and the enneagram is a wonderful way to learn more about yourself, more about others and to better connect with those around you.
[3:00] Claire discusses her journey with the enneagram. She is a licensed professional counselor and, during her journey through getting her certification, she was introduced to the enneagram. She gives this test to all of her patients.
[4:19] Claire discusses the basics of the enneagram. There is a flow to each of the 9 numbers and each number represents a different personality type.
[5:38] Claire explains how you and determine what number you are. There are many online tests but she suggested a few books that both explain the enneagram and have the test as well:
The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso
The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut
The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Andreas Ebert and Richard Rohr
Claire explains how there is a spiritual connection and how the enneagram pre-dates Christ. The enneagram is an oral tradition best understood by talking about it, so Claire encourages us to read many different perspectives about it.
[7:30] Claire explains how she doesn’t like to reduce us to numbers and uses her own number as an example to help us understand how the enneagram moves and flows in times of stress and in times of help.
[11:44] Claire discusses the best thing about deep, intimate relationships is the freedom to challenge one another. You get to know idiosyncrasies of one another and learn to highlight them. We cannot assume that other people “just know” because we do. This is especially important in marriages. Each number has a passion or a sin that gets in the way. [Sin, an archery term is the degree to which you miss the bullseye. When discussing the enneagram, the degree to which you sin is an ego or defense mechanism; what gets in the way or trips us up.] She explains each one.
1. The Reformers deepest need is to be seen as good. They see the world as very black and white and, in their opinion, see right and wrong clearly. Their sin is anger. If they see something that is wrong, social justice, for example, they challenge that and do something about it.
2. The Helpers deepest need is to be loved for who they are. Their sin is pride. They don’t know how to ask for help but, instead, take pride in knowing what other people need.
3. The Achiever wants to be successful and to be seen positively. “They want to win and they want to look good doing it.” The sin of the achiever is deceit.
4. The Individualist wants to be seen as uniquely special. Their sin is envy. They see everyone else out there as unique and special and don’t feel they measure up. They are the most common number on the enneagram. Their highs are high and their lows are low.
5. The Investigators deepest need is to understand. Their sin is avarice. They do not want tangible things but, instead have a strong need to have information.
6. The Loyalist needs to feel secure and their sin is fear. They tend to lean into something other than themselves to give them that sense of security, such as religion. Most people are sixes.
7. The Enthusists deepest need is to avoid pain. They see the glass 7/8 full all of the time. The enthusiasts sin is gluttony. Sevens needs to learn to stop and sit in the pain and deal with it instead of running from it.
8. The Challengers deepest need is to be in control of themselves. They do not want anyone else to try to control them. Their sin is lust, or an “act first, think later” mentality.
9. The Peacemakers deepest need is to avoid conflict. The nine has the hardest time figuring out their number. They become all things to all people to keep the peace. The sin is the sloth. They can look lazy as they are attempting to keep the peace.
[21:36] The lines on the enneagram refer to how a number responds in stress and in health. In stress we move one direction and in health we move to another. In, stress 1 goes to 4 goes to 2 goes to 8 goes to 5 goes to 7 goes to 1 and in health they go the other direction. In the middle triangle, 3 goes to 6 goes to 9.They re
Claire also noted that the nine Enneagram types are grouped into three centers: Body (Instinctive/Gut/Belly), Heart (Feeling), and Head (Thinking). There are three Enneagram types in each centers. Numbers 2,3 and 4 fall into Heart, 4,5 and 7 fall into Head and 8,9 and 11 fall into Gut.
[28:00] Everyone is unique and everyone has their blind spots. In marriages, the enneagram should be used not to judge but to build curiosity about how one’s number (both needs and sins) can impact their relationships
[34:03] Claire discusses enneagram wings. A wing is a number on either side of yours. For example, a 2 can have a 1 wing or a 3 wing. Wings can also change over time. Claire explained how the first half of her life, her 1 wing flapped more strongly and now she is noticing more of a connection with her 3 wing.
Before signing off, Claire noted that Suzanna Stabile’s book The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships can help focus is a wonderful tool in learning more about the relational aspect of the enneagram.
The enneagram is a powerful tool. I just love the way it allows us to connect to one another deeper! I encourage you to learn more about the enneagram to gain an understanding about what number you may connect with and, in turn, strengthen your relationship with yourself and those around you!
CONNECT WITH CLAIRE FICKER
Christian Psychotherapy Services
SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST
I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.
In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!