Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

What a time we are in! I try my hardest to keep my episodes “evergreen,” which means, no matter when you listen to them they are relevant and valuable. And then the Coronavirus entered our world. It is dramatically affecting the way we are living. In Episode 27, I discuss this pandemic and chat about what I am personally going through, in the hopes that you might relate. It may not be “evergreen,” but it applies in any challenging situation. I want to discuss how you might grow from fear to faith; from helpless to empowered. I am taking you along on my journey and discuss what this experience has been like for me.

[3:05] Tip 1: Ask yourself what are you feeling? My husband asked me this and I couldn’t verbalize it. Since I couldn’t vocalize how I was feeling, I chose to write it down in a journal. I challenge you to do the same and to ask yourself: What am I feeling? What am I afraid of? Personally, I decided I was feeling anxious that I was unable to “home school” my children the way others were (all things I noticed by scrolling through social media) and instead had to focus on my 3 businesses! Then I came to the conclusion: Focusing on my businesses is okay in this season of life.

[5:50] Tip 2: What is important to you? My family is and always will be my #1 priority! BUT, business has to take a front seat right now, among this pandemic and strained time in our economy. In Gary Keller’s book The One Thing, he discusses “counterbalance.” You might be trying to be at work and have an awesome life all at the same time. But, there are times you will have to focus a bit more of your time and energy in one of those places and that might be outside of your comfort zone. The key with “counterbalance” is that you never stay in one place too long. Yes, I am saying my family is at the very top of my list at this moment in time, but I am also saying that I am intentional about it, I am making the decision about it, I am aware my business needs it and I am also aware it will not be like this forever.

[9:12] Tip 3: Once you have identified what is important to you, rank your priorities. The reality is you cannot have it all, especially with all that is going on around us! The thing that is MOST important for you to put first is yourself! For example, I have napped twice this week. I never nap! I need to do what my body needs. I encourage you to get enough sleep, go outside for a walk, meditate. Do what you have to do to be working as close to 100% as you can.

[10:37] Tip 4: Find one thing per day you can focus on. [Side note: I discuss the important of paying attention to your budget. Get rid of things expenses are not important.] For me, one of my priorities was to get clear on my expenses! Going for a run or doing crafts with my kids are two more examples. I can then add a second thing to focus on. And, now, today I have 4 things on my plate! It is important to embrace these small wins and not to put too much on yourself!

[13:50] Tip 5: Find opportunities to be grateful! Find gratitude in a home, healthy family members, amazing people working so hard caring for us to end this epidemic, for the leadership making really hard decisions. I am personally very grateful for the people that I have chosen to surround myself with. Build that 5-minute practice in to your daily routine!

Using these 5 tips, you can go from fear to faith, from being nervous to being empowered. Lean on one another; we will get through this together!

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I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 26: 5 Steps to Rock Your Morning Routine

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Episode 21: 5 Things Therapists Wish You Knew

Episode 23: Using The Enneagram To Connect with Claire Ficker

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today I am talking with a special guest, Claire Ficker to discuss the Enneagram! The enneagram is a personality assessment. You may remember when I brought my husband on the podcast to discuss the DISC assessment on Episode 11. This is totally different, but equally as amazing. I am so passionate about connection and the enneagram is a wonderful way to learn more about yourself, more about others and to better connect with those around you.

[3:00] Claire discusses her journey with the enneagram. She is a licensed professional counselor and, during her journey through getting her certification, she was introduced to the enneagram. She gives this test to all of her patients.

[4:19] Claire discusses the basics of the enneagram. There is a flow to each of the 9 numbers and each number represents a different personality type.

[5:38] Claire explains how you and determine what number you are. There are many online tests but she suggested a few books that both explain the enneagram and have the test as well:

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso

The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut

The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Andreas Ebert and Richard Rohr

Claire explains how there is a spiritual connection and how the enneagram pre-dates Christ. The enneagram is an oral tradition best understood by talking about it, so Claire encourages us to read many different perspectives about it.

 [7:30] Claire explains how she doesn’t like to reduce us to numbers and uses her own number as an example to help us understand how the enneagram moves and flows in times of stress and in times of help.

[11:44] Claire discusses the best thing about deep, intimate relationships is the freedom to challenge one another. You get to know idiosyncrasies of one another and learn to highlight them. We cannot assume that other people “just know” because we do. This is especially important in marriages. Each number has a passion or a sin that gets in the way. [Sin, an archery term is the degree to which you miss the bullseye. When discussing the enneagram, the degree to which you sin is an ego or defense mechanism; what gets in the way or trips us up.] She explains each one.

1. The Reformers deepest need is to be seen as good. They see the world as very black and white and, in their opinion, see right and wrong clearly. Their sin is anger. If they see something that is wrong, social justice, for example, they challenge that and do something about it.

2. The Helpers deepest need is to be loved for who they are. Their sin is pride. They don’t know how to ask for help but, instead, take pride in knowing what other people need.

3. The Achiever wants to be successful and to be seen positively. “They want to win and they want to look good doing it.” The sin of the achiever is deceit.

4. The Individualist wants to be seen as uniquely special. Their sin is envy. They see everyone else out there as unique and special and don’t feel they measure up. They are the most common number on the enneagram. Their highs are high and their lows are low.

5. The Investigators deepest need is to understand. Their sin is avarice. They do not want tangible things but, instead have a strong need to have information.

6. The Loyalist needs to feel secure and their sin is fear. They tend to lean into something other than themselves to give them that sense of security, such as religion. Most people are sixes.

7. The Enthusists deepest need is to avoid pain. They see the glass 7/8 full all of the time. The enthusiasts sin is gluttony. Sevens needs to learn to stop and sit in the pain and deal with it instead of running from it.

8. The Challengers deepest need is to be in control of themselves. They do not want anyone else to try to control them. Their sin is lust, or an “act first, think later” mentality.

9. The Peacemakers deepest need is to avoid conflict. The nine has the hardest time figuring out their number. They become all things to all people to keep the peace. The sin is the sloth. They can look lazy as they are attempting to keep the peace.

[21:36] The lines on the enneagram refer to how a number responds in stress and in health. In stress we move one direction and in health we move to another. In, stress 1 goes to 4 goes to 2 goes to 8 goes to 5 goes to 7 goes to 1 and in health they go the other direction. In the middle triangle, 3 goes to 6 goes to 9.They re

Claire also noted that the nine Enneagram types are grouped into three centers: Body (Instinctive/Gut/Belly), Heart (Feeling), and Head (Thinking). There are three Enneagram types in each centers. Numbers 2,3 and 4 fall into Heart, 4,5 and 7 fall into Head and 8,9 and 11 fall into Gut.

[28:00] Everyone is unique and everyone has their blind spots. In marriages, the enneagram should be used not to judge but to build curiosity about how one’s number (both needs and sins) can impact their relationships

[34:03] Claire discusses enneagram wings. A wing is a number on either side of yours. For example, a 2 can have a 1 wing or a 3 wing. Wings can also change over time. Claire explained how the first half of her life, her 1 wing flapped more strongly and now she is noticing more of a connection with her 3 wing.

Before signing off, Claire noted that Suzanna Stabile’s book The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships can help focus is a wonderful tool in learning more about the relational aspect of the enneagram.

The enneagram is a powerful tool. I just love the way it allows us to connect to one another deeper! I encourage you to learn more about the enneagram to gain an understanding about what number you may connect with and, in turn, strengthen your relationship with yourself and those around you!

CONNECT WITH CLAIRE FICKER

Christian Psychotherapy Services

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I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 11 – The DISC Assessment

Episode 18: Organizing on the Go

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today’s episode was inspired by one of our listeners, Bethany. Bethany and I were talking about organizing our thoughts as we were listening to podcasts and audio books and I started to share with her some quick tips of how I organize on the go and she was like MANDY, THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR! So, maybe you’re the same? You’re starting to do more ‘thinking’, maybe more reading, or consuming of content, but feel like it goes all over the place. Maybe you feel anxious about to do lists and are worried that you’re going to forget something because it’s written all over the place. Well this episode is for YOU. Like I always say, this isn’t an episode on the BEST way to do something, it’s all about what I’m doing and what works for me, but I share it to hopefully inspire you to figure out your best way. So, here’s how I’m organizing on the go, as of January 2020. I hope you’ll listen in, find your system and come join us in the Pursuers Community and share what challenges you have, what successes you’re finding, and all that good stuff!

[3:35] To start out I share my general organizing tendencies which includes paper planning and digital planning. I give a little insight into why I still use a paper planner, and share about my current favorite, the Law of Attraction Planner.

[7:00] I share my WHY behind organization and it’s all about creating the ability to be present where I’m at, while also making sure I don’t forget the lists and lists of things I need to do for my life and business. I share how I do this practically, without losing myself in lists and forgetting “where” I’m supposed to be.

[11:35] I go deeper into how I use Google Tasks to organize my business. Hint: it’s all about lists within lists within lists. I share some of my specific lists and how I organize specific tasks within each list. I also share how I stay organized between Google Tasks and my paper planner.

[15:15] I switch gears in Google Tasks and talk about how I use it in my personal life and explain how it’s more priority oriented, but still helps me to make sure I don’t forget anything.

[17:15] I give you examples of other types of lists I make including book lists, podcast lists, and a list for all my thoughts I have throughout the day that gets put into my digital filing system.

[21:30] The second app I share with you for organizing on the go is Google Forms. I share both how I use it personally as a way to create a daily journal prompt for myself, but also how my team has integrated it into our daily systems for organization.

[32:15] The final tip I share is on how to transfer time blocking from a paper planner into your Google Calendar that can also be synced with Google tasks. This is extremely helpful for more time sensitive or scheduled tasks.

So those are my tips and mindset around organizing when you’re on the go from Google Tasks, to my paper planner, my journal, Google Forms, etc. Each of these are simple things I’ve integrated that have really made a difference in my world that maybe you can incorporate or use to start to make a system that works for YOU. All of our brains work differently so you don’t have to organize like me, but hopeful you’ll find something that works for you, and hopefully you’ll love how you’re feeling when you’re organized so that you’ll want to dig even deeper into how to continue to organize all different facets of your life. If you listened to the last episode, Episode 17 on creating more margin in your life, you’ll know that I encourage you to get organized not because I want you to get more done, but so that your brain can feel clearer, so that you can show up better and more present in all that you do because that’s how you’re going to experience more which is what I believe life is all about.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 17: The Power of Margin

Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

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Episode 17: The Power of Margin

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

If you’ve heard me speak, you know that I LOVE being busy. I love activities, productivity, and efficiency. After four years of pregnancy and nursing babies, I was so excited for 2019 to ‘max out’ my life and jam pack as much possible into my life. And you don’t have to have had a human to have gone through this experience, it could have been from a sickness, challenging family situation, etc. but you might be able to relate to when you literally, physically cannot ‘max out’ your life the way that you think you have to in order to succeed. I knew that margin wasn’t a luxury, and I knew that it was a necessity, but I had no idea how to implement it in my life. I didn’t know how to go from my life of exhaustion, chaos, and a mindset of I have to be working, to having margin and rest. Learning this and creating this margin wasn’t easy for me, it was a process and a journey, but I’m going to share with you some questions to help you reflect on your current life so that you can design a life of margin in 2020.

[6:50] Question 1: What would your life have to look like so that you never felt like you needed a vacation? I challenge you to think on how your life would need to be designed so that when you had a scheduled vacation or self-care activity, you actually looked forward to it and were happy during the time leading up to it, rather than desperate and miserable. I encourage you to go back and listen to Episode 2, all about self-care for a refresher on what self-care really should be.

[17:25] Question 2: Where am I not being intentional about my time? I challenge you to get your planner, paper or digital, and time block every hour of your week. Include everything, even sleep. Then go back and see where you have empty time slots and areas where you aren’t being fully intentional with your time or wasting time you could be doing something more refreshing or productive.

[21:00] Question 3: What are you filling your margin time with? Once you’ve found even 10 minutes of margin in your day, how are you using that ten minutes? Are you wasting it on social media, or are you using it to rest, or to be with your kids, or to read a few more pages of that book you want to finish this month? Check your margin to make sure you’re filling it with things that are rejuvenating you.

I went from ZERO margin to being able to logistically create margin. I’ve been able to be absolutely okay with that margin in my soul, and I’ve grown from spending time reading and consuming amazing content instead of wasting time scrolling social media. I’ve been able to be more present with my family because I’m not running ragged and showing up every day being exhausted. Margin isn’t a luxury in our schedule, it’s a necessity. When we have margin and utilize it in a way that refills our bodies and souls, we have more to give! So, pursue margin, so that you pursue you, so that you can give the gift of your best self to your family, your community and your business.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you rerame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 2: Why Self-Care is NOT the Answer…and What Is

Episode 3: 3 Reasons You’re Not Making Your First Hire

Episode 14: My Top 5 Personal Reads in 2019

Episode 15: My Top 5 Business Reads in 2019

Episode 16: Ask for What You Want

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

I am starting today’s episode with a story about my daughter, and I hope that this story about her inspires you to not be afraid to use your own voice in your family, in your job, or anywhere else that you find yourself wanting to ask something of someone else. I want us to not be afraid to ask for what we want. Sometimes it takes us awhile to figure out what we want, but when we do, what do we do with it? What do you do when you’re wanting a promotion or a raise, or when you need something from your clients or your spouse? What do you do when you want something from your friends? Once we identify what we want, how do we get closer to getting it or making that happen? In today’s episode, I’m sharing six steps for asking for what you want.

[00:00] I start off sharing a story about me watching my daughter use her own voice to ask for what she wanted when we were away on a girl’s trip, and how I am so proud of the fact that she can speak for herself, and how it’s inspired me to make sure I take my own advice and share this advice with you to use your voice to ask for what you want.

[4:30] Step 1 – Understand that people aren’t mind readers – I want you to know how important it is that we don’t assume people know what we want. Often, we end up assuming that people know what we want, and it sends us into attack mode or angry towards them for not giving it to us. Reality is, people typically don’t have any idea what we want and it’s not even on their radar unless we bring it up.

[6:30] Step 2 – Reflect & understand WHY this “ask” is so important – What will asking this question do for you? What is your end goal and why is it so important? Go beyond the surface. The answer you think it is might not even be your real why. I go deeper into this with a personal story about a question I had to ask my husband and how I couldn’t ask him for anything until I really understood WHY I needed to ask the question.

[15:10] Step 3 – Be clear on what you’re asking for – I share another, more humorous, story about a time I asked my husband for something and how it explains why we need to be extra clear about what we are asking for. Learn how defining terms like “Low quality eggs” or “high quality eggs” can help set up clear expectations on what you want and what you don’t want.

[21:00] Step 4 – Analyze the big picture – It’s important for us to think about how this “ask” is going to affect the people around us. Sometimes these questions will impact others in big ways, emotionally, financially, or with their time. Considering this may modify your ask or it might not, but its’ important that when you do finally ask that you’ve already considered the ramifications it will have on others.

[25:15] Step 5 – Plan and share your ask – Plan out exactly how you’re going to ask and when you’re going to do it. Share your plan with someone that can hold you accountable so that you see it through.

[27:05] Step 6 – JUST ASK IT – I know you’ll find yourself hesitating, so I want you to go back to step 2 and remind yourself why it’s so important that you ask for this. Ask yourself what it will be like if you don’t ask? What’s the worst that could happen if you do ask? Use these counseling questions to remind yourself and inspire you to JUST FREAKING ASK!

So, I ask this of you, what is that fierce conversation you need to have? What is an area where you’re feeling like you could use some help in, what is something you want to ASK for? Go through these steps, and channel your inner 4 year old Aliana Grace, look at what you’ve been given, peer inside that bowl of possibilities to see if there’s something in there that’s worth the ask, and yes, you might have your moment of doubt just like she did, but know that I’m here with the ‘you can do it’ smile encouraging you to go out there, and ask for what YOU want because you deserve it.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Episode 10: The Pruning Challenge

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Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Goals, goals, all types of goals! Any SNL fans out there? I love the skit Back Home Baller and the song “Bowls, bowls, all types of bowls”, and if you haven’t seen it you might want to watch it, but today, we’re not talking about bowls. We’re talking about goals! Like many of my stories, I had one of my most amazing revelations about goals at a retreat I went to in October. This message is applicable any time of year if you are thinking about setting goals, but I wanted to share it now as we’re approaching the beginning of the new year because I know many of you are deep in goal setting mode. Now, I’ve been the person who always knows what the next goal is and I’ve been the person who has no time to even think about setting goals, so whichever one you are right now, I hope this will help change the way you think about goals, and let you see that when you care about the goals it will be much easier to work towards achieving those goals.

Before we start, I’m going to be walking you through a worksheet that will be extremely valuable as you work on your goal setting. If you want to go ahead and download it now, you can do that here.

[3:00] I share the story about the retreat I attended and what happened while I was brainstorming a business plan for Pursue You during a quiet time. The outcome was not at all what I expected, but I asked myself two questions afterward in order to decide if my goals were right or now. I’m going to challenge you to ask these questions when you write down your overall goals for the year. 1. If I accomplish these goals, will I feel happy at the end of the year? Alternatively, 2. If I don’t accomplish these goals, will I feel bummed at the end of the year?

[7:00] What I came to realize after answering these questions was that in order for me to truly be happy, I want to know that I am showing up as the best wife and mom. This was a meaningful goal to me. I knew I could accomplish the business goals, but they weren’t meaningful and that is the mindset we need to change as we set goals. We need to set goals that as we accomplish them, allow us to love who we have become as a result.

[9:40] Hear how I’m turning the tables on you and giving you a road map to setting goals that you actually care about.

[10:50] Reflecting: I challenge you to first start with reflection. Think about your past and how you’ve shown up. What are you most proud of? What would you classify as your top priorities in your life? If I didn’t know your heart and I just looked at your calendar or where your energy is spent, what would I say your priorities are? Is there an area of your life that you feel is lacking?

[12:10] Now that you’ve reflected, it’s time to design. In order to design our goals, I want you to download my free Life GPS worksheet. Goals. Priorities. Strategies.

[15:10] Goal. What is the one thing that if by doing it you will feel fulfilled? This can often be the most difficult part to set, but it needs to be something that’s going to make you feel better about who you’ve become after you’ve been through the process of achieving it.

[16:00] Priorities. To identify your priorities, refer back to your answers to the reflection questions earlier. Do the things you say are priorities actually turn out to be your priorities? Write down at 3-5 priorities that will be placed above anything else and will ultimately help you achieve your overall goal.

[24:00] Strategies.  These are the plan of action. Be sure to set SMART strategies, meaning they are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely. If you’re looking for an example, refer back to my strategy when I wanted to cut down screen time. I talk all about it in Episode 7: Screen Time Hacks.  

Do you see how the Life GPS works together? It’s all about creating goals that you actually care about. You want to be passionate about taking action, and once you do accomplish it you’ll love the person you have become as a result. That’s the whole point of goals. I hope this has helped you see that. I hope this worksheet will allow you to feel better about yourself when you look at your strategies, priorities, and overall goal. Don’t forget to grab the worksheet, download it and set your goals for 2020. Let’s be people that set meaningful goals that will allow you to pursue you so that you can give the gift of your best self to your family, your community, and your business.

Download the Life GPS Worksheet

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 7: Screen Time Hacks

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Episode 7: Screen Time Hacks

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Let’s talk about screen time! No, I don’t mean for your kids...I mean for you! As a realtor for the last 10 years, screen time has been a huge challenge for me. I need to be by my phone for other realtors, for my clients, to monitor new listings, to reach out to a new client wanting to work with me, etc. And when I was on it 24/7, my business grew! It was this self-perpetuated addiction to my phone. Today I want to share with you some screen time hacks along with some perspective that I have found ultra-helpful as a parent and entrepreneur. My goal is that you’ll see that there are tactical tools and mindset shifts that, wherever you are with screen time, so you can feel confident that you are in control of how technology is influencing your life and how you’re showing up in the world.

[1:00] I start off sharing with you my story, and how I first realized I had a problem with screen time.

[5:30] Hack #1: Completely silence your phone. I talk about how removing the distractions of ringing, vibrating, etc will help you keep your attention focused where it needs to be. To hear more about how distractions, have a negative impact on your world, go back and listen to Episode 5: The One Thing.

[7:00] I recommend practical ways to implement hack number 1, and how to make it work for your specific lifestyle.

[9:45] Hack #2: Set an alarm to check your phone. I share a story about how a friend of mine was also looking to ditch some screen time and how setting alarms for checking our phone gave us more freedom and enjoyment with our families in the evenings.  

[13:00] I share my advice and action plan for how to regularly implement an alarm schedule for your screen time.

[14:40] I talk about how you can implement the alarm hack into your work day as well.

[16:35] Hack #3: Carry a pen and paper with you. Sometimes the hardest thing is when you have good intentions and then something else sucks you into the black hole of screen time. For me, this is always adding a note in my task list. I share how I now write it on paper, making sure I remember, without getting distracted by other things on my phone.

[18:40] I challenge you to think about the one thing that’s pulling you back to your phone that just gets you started down the black hole of YouTube videos and Facebook. What are the things that you think will take a quick second and then suck you in?

[19:00] Hack #4: Take apps off your phone! What apps are you opening when you’re bored, or you get that feeling like you need to be on your phone. Those are the apps to delete. I also share other solutions for when it’s not practical to completely remove the app from your phone.

[20:35] Hack #5: Forward your phone. This hack may seem excessive or unnecessary for your current situation or job, but I share a lot of practical tips for delegating out your phone calls and voice mail. It is life changing!

[23:00] I talk about how to approach these hacks if you’re still feeling worried about missing emergencies phone calls, clients, etc.

[25:50] Hack #6: If you’re unsure if screen time is even a problem for you, I challenge you to use this week to see where you’re at. Use one of the many apps available for tracking screen time and app usage and see where you might need to change things up or what you need to do to maintain where your current usage.

Bottom line – phones are amazing, but for me and maybe you too, what we feel like is connecting us, has maybe we’ve taken it to far. We’ve crossed a line from connecting to being obsessed. I’m the first to raise my hand, and I say it with no embarrassment, I was actually addicted to it. While I had valid reasons in my mind for being on my phone, I was missing out on my life, I missed my babies, I felt unfulfilled, and I could never focus on where I was in the moment. I feel like I’ve come so far, and people are noticing that I can leave my phone places, and not be stressed and anxious about it. I hope you see that you can still be reachable, service your clients, be connected and be present wherever you are. I want you to reflect, design and pursue what screen time looks like for you when you are pursuing your best self.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 5: Pursue You Picks: The ONE Thing

Episode 4: The Antidote to FOMO

Episode 2: Why Self-Care is NOT the Answer…and What Is!

Episode 6: Good Enough to Move On

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

The total nerd in me, that I now 100% embrace, is coming out in today’s episode. If you haven’t recognized yet, I LOVE attending seminars and conferences. I love that feeling of being immersed in a world of other growth minded people. One of my favorites that I work hard to attend every year is called Global Leadership Summit. The mission of the Global Leadership Summit is a community that is committed to learning from each other and using our influence to accomplish God’s purpose on earth. Now while it’s hosted at a church, the focus of these two days is very much leadership and growth focused. The first year there was my first-time hearing about Craig Groschel. From the moment I first heard him talk I was in absolute AWE. A little more about him, he has the Craig Groschel Leadership podcast, and he is the founder of Life Church, and creator of the YouVersion Bible App. He’s also a husband and father so his speaking really resonated with me. This past year when I attended his opening talk was called Bend the Curve, and one of the topics he shared with us was this idea called GETMO. G-E-T-M-O. And when I first heard it, I was like get more? Nope, it stands for “good enough to move on”. GETMO. Get it?

[2:40] I talk about the idea of GETMO and explain what it means.

[5:20] I talk about the challenge of finding the sweet spot between the investment of your resources and the value that the resources are adding to your life.

[5:40] I talk about the fact that GETMO is more for perfectionists, not people who just want to do the bare minimum. It’s for people who are always thinking about how they could still do more work. It’s not about what is the minimum amount of work I have to do, but about finding the sweet spot between the amount of work you are putting in and getting the most return out of it.

[7:50] I challenge you to find the areas of your life where you are investing your time, money or energies into something that has stopped adding value, or where you are investing into something that is having diminishing returns, and to think about something else you could invest that time and money into that would bring more value.

[8:45] I share an example from my own real estate business about how something that started out as a big improvement in our business eventually had to change because the effort we were putting into it wasn’t valued by our clients any longer. We had to analyze our efforts and the feedback from our clients to figure out how to maximize the output for our input.

[13:50] I challenge you to look at the meetings you have on your calendar and to see how much time you’re spending in those meetings and what you’re accomplishing in that time. Can you shorten the meetings? Can you accomplish everything you need to in 15 or 30 minutes? You could get time back without decreasing the value of the meeting.

[15:10] I talk about how it’s not always black and white to see the investments that need to be analyzed with GETMO. Sometimes you need to use C & E (counsel and experimentation) which I talked about in Episode 4 in order to see where you might need to make some changes. I share how we did this within our team to decide where to modify how we’re using our resources.

[17:00] I challenge you to regularly ask yourself two questions. First, what are you investing your time, money and energies into that has stopped adding value? Second, is there somewhere else you could be putting that investment to get value in something else?

[17:30] I translate GETMO from business to family and talk about how I had to learn how to find the sweet spot between scheduling ourselves into exhaustion with the activities we do with our kids, and knowing when we need to be back home as a family for rest.

[22:30] I talk about how we need to do these checks often because our “sweet spots” in business and life can change in different seasons. We need to recognize it and act accordingly and be okay with it.

I want to remind you this is not about doing the minimum amount of work. This is for those of us that are working too much towards perfection and are seeing diminishing results. When you maximize your resources with GETMO you’ll find yourself doing less and getting more, finding more joy and satisfaction with the same or less amount of effort. Do an audit of your time, energy, resources and see where you need to modify time, output, etc. Your resources are what you have to give the world, and I hope you know how precious they are.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 4: The Antidote to FOMO

Episode 3: 3 Reasons You’re Not Making Your First Hire

Episode 2: Why Self-Care is NOT the Answer…and What Is

Episode 4: The Antidote to FOMO

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

We’ve all heard of FOMO right? It’s the fear of missing out. It’s a classic phrase we kind of joke about, but it’s pretty real. It has a big impact on us because we say yes before we consider anything else we’ve made a commitment to. It affects our businesses, our families and even the opportunities we have to serve. It’s often overwhelming and can be debilitating.

Don’t worry though! I have the antidote for FOMO: a little thing called JOMO, the joy of missing out. I saw this and fell madly in love with it, so I’ve gone really deep into it. Life is a bunch of small decisions that are all about what you’re saying yes to, and what you’re saying no to. This makes up how we spend our time and that is what our life is. So how do we make sure that what we say yes or no to is leading us to find JOMO?

[3:00] I introduce the two things we need to find JOMO. If we are ever going to begin to experience joy instead of fear, we must first begin by getting clear on our purpose and priorities.

[4:40] I help you ask the question that’s going to lead you to getting clear on your purpose. You need to ask yourself, “How do I need to live to feel proud of the way my heart is showing up?”.

[7:30] I get practical on what it looks like to clarify your purpose. I suggest finding a space where you can be in solitude, you can reflect, and you can take all your titles, achievements, successes, all of that exterior armor, and take it off. Then you need to ask yourself, “How do I need to show up? What impact do I want to make? What will make me proud of myself?”.

[8:00] I remind you that while finding your purpose is an ongoing pursuit, you need to start somewhere, and you need to realize that your purpose is unique to you!

[11:00] I talk about incorporating finding your purpose into your reflective self-care that I spoke about in Episode 2.  

[12:00] I talk about what it means to get clear on your priorities. It’s not just about naming a priority but identifying what focusing on that priority looks like for you.

[12:40] I talk abut what it looks like to make yourself the most important priority. Ask yourself questions that will help you see what it is you need to do for you to show up the best way that you can.

[13:40] I talk about clarifying your relational priorities. I walk you through an example of motherhood and our relationship with our children.

[16:30] I explain my C & E method: counsel and experiment. This method is crucial when you are trying to decide if your priorities need a shift or change.

[20:30] I talk about how C & E can help clarify and/or solidify your purpose and priorities. It gives you confidence in the decisions you end up making, which leads to a greater joy.

[23:30] I talk about clarifying your business priorities. I talk about how sometimes certain priorities are easier to pinpoint or clarify once you’ve set up boundaries with other priorities. I give you an example about how getting clear on my business priorities is much easier when I’m already clear on my personal and relational priorities.

[29:42] I talk about the importance of recognizing when your priorities change. We have to understand that other people’s priorities, or their expectations of our priorities can’t dictate what we believe is the best way to live our lives to gain joy and confidence.

I hope I’ve been able to help you start the process of getting clear on what you say yes to and what you say no to. When you’re taking the time to identify what you’re saying yes to, and your purpose and priorities are your filter, then you can kick the FOMO out of your mind and step into JOMO.

Remember, the antidote to FOMO is JOMO and the only way to truly have JOMO is by being confident that what you’re doing in that moment is where you want to be. Be confident in being you. Your purpose and priorities are evolving and growing, so get clear on what that is, so that you can continue to pursue you.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 1: Find Your Way Back to You

Episode 2: Why Self Care is NOT the Answer…and What Is!