Episode 54: Why You Don't Have to Wake Up Early to Be "Successful"

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Maybe the title today got your attention because you aren’t an “early riser.” You might feel that because you are not a “morning person” or someone who gets up early, you are not successful! This conversation today is about how you can be wildly successful even if you do not wake up early. I share key characteristics that we might consider applying to our lives and can set us up for more success.

I define success as a life of choice: Doing what you want, when you want, with who you want to. It is important you define success in the way YOU see it, too.

[4:37] #1 – Successful people are intentional with their time. I understand some people don’t need much sleep. I would think it is safe to say that most people I speak with need 6 hours. Typically, when we drop below six we begin to struggle. [I have done experimenting with my own body and life and I need 8 hours of sleep to function.] When I am waking up “early” I am up by 6am which means I need to be asleep by 10pm. I share two prior podcasts that I completed that might be worth a listen! It is important to determine what time you need to go to bed based on what time you want to wake up. When you are intentional, you recognize the value of a minute or an hour. It will lead you to a life of clarity, fulfillment and choice.

It is also important to understand the cycles in your day. During the day you have times you may be more or less productive. I share an example about exercise. It is important to be intentional WHEN you do things, too. You don’t have to wake up early to be intentional about your time. But you do have to be sure the intentionality is happening at some point during your day.

[15:00] #2 – Successful people are intentional with their energy. They are intentional with their energy with whatever they do. They are aware when their energy is off. It is so important to prepare your energy in whatever way works best for you. Dedicating part to your evening and/or morning routine is important. I share an example about my morning routine, including affirmations and prayers. Like, being intentional with our time, our energy ebbs and flows over the course of a day. Be in tune with when you are energetically in a stronger position to be more effective in your day. Daniel Pink’s book “When” shares 3 different types of people…Lark (morning person), Third Bird (early to mid-morning person), Owl (late afternoon and evening person). He says 80% of the people are larks or third birds. Owls don’t work as well during a typical 9-5.

[19:44] #3 – Successful people are disciplined to do what they don’t want to do or what they don’t necessarily feel like doing at the moment. I share a Real Estate example. The people who get out of bed when their alarms go off are probably disciplined enough to do the things that are difficult and set themselves up for success. “Are you doing the things you need to do now in order to be successful?” OR are you hitting that snooze button and doing what is comfortable in the morning and then taking that approach to everything in your life? Are you sticking to what is comfortable in your business and relationships?

I did not wake up at 6am for the past 5 years but have still been able to craft my days to be successful. I hope that as you look at your schedule, habits and routines, you identify what is worth your attention and focus. I hope you also give yourself grace as you are figuring this out. Do what works for you, especially when it comes to sleep/rest. Your body needs it. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Give yourself grace to find ways you can empower yourself to wake up when it works for you and still be wildly successful in whatever way you define success.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 53: Pursue You Picks | Attention Management

Episode 25: 5 Steps to Rock Your Morning Routine

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Episode 53: Pursue You Picks | Attention Management

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Some of my favorite episodes that I get the honor to share with you are my Pursue You Picks episodes. I love to share information on this platform and I love to inspire you to do more consumption of information. Today I am discussing the book, “Attention Management,” by Maura Nevel Thomas. I hope the tidbits I share inspire you to consume the book yourself!

I first heard about this book listening to the Go-Giver Podcast by Bob Burg- Episode 155. Maura Nevel Thomas shared about her book, Attention Management. She was able to put into words the way that I was attempting to structure my life, my days and my attention. It was something I knew I needed to consume and share.

[3:29] Thomas starts with the idea that, for so long, maximizing productivity was always about time management, with the idea that, the more we manage our time, the more productive we will be. I used to see productivity as doing as much as possible in as little amount of time. Now I see it as managing attention during times of productivity to allow yourself to live a life of intentionality. I refer to the Netflix Documentary, The Social Dilemma. It is the job of the internet to keep you on the internet. Thomas calls it the Productivity Paradox. We need these tools to do our jobs, but the job of these tools is keeping us using the tools at the expense of doing our jobs or anything else! I share my relationship with Facebook while growing my Real Estate business and its importance in its growth.

[6:57] In the opening of this book, Thomas draws attention to things we as a generation of humans/works and our current business world are experiencing that impacts our attention, the amount of distractions that are coming our way and, as a result, negatively impacts our productivity. I share a quote from the book, “We all grapple with an influx of communication previous generations could have never imagined, and everything seems urgent. And that makes it hard to prioritize.” Because of this influx of communication, we never have a long time to focus on one certain project. Planning/system creation requires a LOT of focus. IF you are being interrupted every couple of minutes, how are you going to have a train of thought to accomplish that.

[10:04] I share another quote, “The ability to maintain control over your thoughts and actions rather than inadvertently relinquishing it is your defense against the damage our fast-paced, technology-rich, always-on environment does to our minds, bodies and souls. It’s essential to living the life you want to lead. Your attention determines the experiences you want to have and, when looking back on your life, it’s easy to see the experiences you want to have determines the life you live. Therefore, you must control your attention to control your life.” It is such a far-reaching concept. It is not about getting more work done! Most importantly, the piece that I want you to take away…it helps you to avoid relinquishing control to the world around you. You need to have some control over your thoughts and life or else your natural tendencies  (of doing what is easy, eating Fast Food, watching too much TV) will take over.

[12:32] Thomas describes four quadrants that illustrate different buckets of where you are in your attention management. See illustration of these quadrants and their relationship to one another below:

[13:45] I discuss the Reactive and Distracted quadrant. Your control is low and attention is low. This quadrant is where I may challenge you to say you may be living in a lot, because that is how I was.

[14:45] I discuss the Daydreaming quadrant. Your control is high and your attention is low. This quadrant is where you aren’t having much external stimulus. You can control your environment, but you aren’t focusing on too much. [For example: showering, walking, standing in line. It is actually an important and can be restorative for your brain].

[16:59] I discuss Focused and Mindful quadrant. Control and attention are both high. She uses thoughtful tasks as an example here. Staying in this quadrant requires a lot of discipline and will-power.

[17:46] I discuss Flow. Control is low and attention is high. In this quadrant, focus is easy because you are doing something you are well-trained in and good at.

As we get intentional is helpful to start by keeping a time log. When I am feeling stuck or overwhelmed, see where your time is going now! What percentage of your day are you spending in each quadrant? Remember, there is no right or wrong place to be. You may just use it as an opportunity to make a shift. Start small with your shifts. I share a few hacks of my own from my past experiences growing my businesses.

I leave you with another favorite quote from the book: “Attention management is the key to a life of choice. And if you can’t control your attention, you won’t be able to speak that inaudible language of the heart. Don’t allow distraction to rob you of the moments that make up your life.” Instead, control your attention to control your life.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 52: FOMO, Screen Time, Setting Goals, Mom Guilt & Your Pace

Episode 51: Internal Shifts vs External Shifts

Episode 48: When You Just Need To STOP

Episode 7: Screen Time Hacks

Episode 52: FOMO, Screen Time, Setting Goals, Mom Guilt & Your Pace

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

52! Episode #52! 52 is also the number of weeks in one year so I have successfully completed 1 podcast per week for 1 year. I feel this is a perfect time for us to dig into the vault and highlight some of the episodes that made the most impact on you as the listeners and our community as a whole. One of my favorite parts of this podcast is how all-encompassing it is. I hope that today’s episode can serve as a starting point, as inspiration to give you an idea of what episodes you may want to listen to next!

[2:45] Episode 4 – The Antidote to FOMO aka JOMO…the joy of missing out! Even if I am doing something I LOVE, I still feel like I may be missing out on something else. I had a realization that this idea of FOMO became powerful enough to make me feel like the things in my life were not good enough. I was always comparing myself. I was second guessing my choices. As I practiced becoming confident in my choices, I was able to enjoy the things I did more and have JOMO…joy of missing out.

[7:14] Episode 7 – Screen Time Hacks…I just finished a book called Attention Management (stay tuned for an upcoming episode). In Episode 7, I share so much how screen time affected me as a mom. I had the realization that I was spending too much time working and not enough time with my kids. After realizing this, I started doing simple things but I also had to re-wire my brain to figure out the tiny habits that showed up big in my life. I share a handful of tactical ways to tackle this challenge.

[11:10] Episode 13 – Set Goals You Actually Care About…I share about a realization I had around this time last year. For the past few years I start planning the upcoming year in October. While setting up goals for 2020 in late 2019, I asked myself, “If I accomplish this, how will I feel?” And I answered, “I’ll feel GREAT!” I then asked myself, “What if I don’t?” And I learned that showing up for my family was, indeed, more important to me. As much as I wanted these things for my business, I learned I needed to set the goals that were most important to me first. If you will be upset not accomplishing something, that goal means something to you.

[17:27] Episodes 38 and Episode 39 – Mom Guilt…The goal of these podcasts is to answer the question, “How do I get rid of Mom Guilt?” There is no easy fix here. The crux of these two episodes is about being confident in who you are as a mom, what your priorities are as a mom and being confident showing up that way. I share how we are not that important! If we miss a soccer game or go on vacation, we are not a bad mom. YOU define what a good mom is, not anyone around you.

[21:23] Episode 45 – Find Your Pace…This podcast was inspired by Pastor Michael Todd. In 2020, every one of us had a shift to our “regularly scheduled programming.” We had an opportunity to rebuild our best normals, also a recent podcast of mine [Episode 33]. It is important to find a pace that works for you. Dispel all of the programming that you have had in your mind about how quickly something is moving in your life. For me, if I stopped or had a slow pace, I felt lazy! I share how morning sickness forced me to slow down and I had to listen to my body. We cannot define our worth based on our pace or accomplishments and that, for some of us, requires us to change the way we look at what we have always done.

So, there you have it, 5 (well, 6) podcasts that our community has loved from the last year- a good mixture of personal and professional growth! Hopefully one fog them inspires you to add to your library or share with a friend. I hope you can feel the gratitude I have for you. It is an absolute blessing to spend so much time with myself and this microphone to be able to learn more about the things I feel so passionately about and hopefully make an impact in your life.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 51: Internal Shifts vs External Shifts

Episode 50: How Having Kids Helped Me Scale My Business

Episode 49: 4 Ways to Find More Time

Episode 51: Internal Shifts vs External Shifts

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

I set a goal for 365 days. 1 episode per week for an entire year! When I got behind, I kept cranking. I didn’t need January 1st to start something new. Mid-October was when I set this goal. As crazy as it sounds, I set my standards “low” so that this was attainable and achievable. Start a new habit and make it right for you.

I have discussed in the past why this season is difficult for me. As I record this podcast in mid-September, I notice, as I have in years’ past, my “thermostat” is a bit low. I do currently have a hectic schedule and a lot of moving parts and I notice am not feeling right. So, I took out a pen and paper and journaled. I learned that this has been a difficult time for me for at least 5 years! Maybe it is emotions. We may not think emotions are not valid enough to be worthy to work toward a change or a shift that is external. But sometimes internal shifts are more important than external shifts.

[7:50] I explain and share an example. Externally, I may try to change schedule, both home and work,. I am realizing I could change all of the external things and realize this is just a season my heart is working through. By me assigning all the reason why I feel this way onto external things or finding things that are wrong outside of me and blaming those, that that can inhibit me from moving through the season smoother or quicker. The end goal is to go back to that thermostat level, the place where I am feeling happy. The place that is my heart’s home. So, instead of looking for something that is wrong to fix, I am just letting myself feel it. I am telling myself it is ok. Nothing is wrong. Working on some internal shifts might be a better solution than the external shifts.

[9:38] How do you know whether what you are working through needs an internal shift or an external shift? I do not have the perfect formula. I can tell you I already feel better than how I recall feeling other falls because I am not being so hard on myself.

[10:53] The first thought is identifying patterns. In my example, I identified the pattern of this time of year. My business coach uses an exercise where I close my eyes and visualize where I am. Then visualize yourself leaving your body, like a bird and you can now see yourself sitting in your chair visualizing. When I pull myself away, I feel like I take all the emotions with me. It allows me to see something I maybe have not seen before. Patterns may help you articulate if it is something internal or external and if you are reacting differently as a result.

[15:05] Find some therapy! For a while I was going to a therapist pretty consistently. And then I got busy and it became difficult to get there. All of a sudden, the fact that my husband didn’t put his toothbrush away made me so angry! We realized maybe I needed to be going back consistently again to work through some feelings and emotions that maybe built up. In a broader sense, a girls night out or a guys night out could also be real-life therapy. Watching TV, a good cry, exercise can all be a good example of therapy. Work out the internal shifts first before attempting to validate the external shifts in your life.

[20:14] The final thought I have is finding the time to just stop. In episode 48 “When You Just Need to Stop,” I discussed how I would never stop to feel or think. I was always trying to fix everything vs stopping and reconfiguring my mind and emotions. A friend shared that, “feelings are meant to be felt.” I think I avoided feeling, especially if it was uncomfortable. Keith Cunningham discusses writing in 3 “thirds.” The magic happens in the 3rd third. Getting there usually requires you to get to your heart and emotions.

When I encourage you to Pursue You, it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. It means to pursue your heart and your feelings. Sometimes you might notice that you need to make an external change, and that is ok. I am practicing not jumping to the external change first.

W Timothy Gallwey said, ““When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as "rootless and stemless." We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.”

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 50: How Having Kids Helped Me Scale My Business

Episode 49: 4 Ways to Find More Time

Episode 48: When You Just Need to STOP

Episode 50: How Having Kids Helped Me Scale My Business

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

This is Episode 50! I made a commitment to myself that I would premier 1 podcast per week! I am close to a full year of the Pursue You Podcast and have learned so much along the way. Today I discuss how kids connect and relate with business. I think having children has actually helped me grow and scale my business and has positively impacted my life. I used to think you could not have a family and a successful business and I share 10 reasons that having kids has helped me grow my businesses.

[4:40] #1 – I learned kids change your heart. It changes what you feel is important and it gives you this perspective about why you are doing what you are doing. Before having kids, real estate was my life! An epiphany told me that God put me on this planet to make an impact on the world, leaving it better than I found it.

[6:54] #2 – I realized that I can no longer do what I once did. I used to be able to run 100 mph all day long then come home and crash. I can no longer do that. I have to determine what is most important and show up at home.

[8:51] #3 – I began to delegate. My coach shared a great quote with me: “You have to add before you can subtract.” In other words, when I wanted to start a team, I knew I was fine until I had to leave town for 21 days. I ADDED something (my absence) in order to get myself to delegate out. Others on our team handled my duties until I returned. Ask yourself, “what do I no longer have the ability to do?” You will eventually realize others can do what you can do just as good. It may take time and practice and a bit of training, but you will get there.

[12:29] #4 – I realized how important my energy was. I share an example of when we had our first daughter and how we had to become mindful of our energy. When you know how to have a handle on your energy and you are aware of when you are up and down, you are able to protect your energy and have a better foundation to scale your business.

[15:55] #5 – I simplified my victories. I tried to do maternity leave with my daughter and then would fail to accomplish my goals and was frustrated. I said to myself “If I have to do 1 thing today, what would that one thing be?” Simplifying victories helped me understand that I am most productive when I get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t have to get done. I was focusing on the 80% tasks instead of focusing on the 20% tasks, the right things.

[18:23] #6 – The feeling that time expands. This idea that work expands to the time allotted might also qualify for life. I asked myself, “What did I ever do with my time before kids!?” After kids, you feel like you have so much more on my plate. I started to recognize the power of small windows of time. I can hammer out a ton of work in 20 minutes. I want you to create the things that you want to put in your time, in work, business and life, because you are going to start to realize the power of time (and how easily it gets sucked up).

[21:43] #7 – It modified my success list. Gary Keller discusses this in The One Thing. You cannot have a list of To Dos and label them all the same importance. Kids change this because when you have a child, you don’t have 3-hour blocks where you can focus. I learned the power of distraction. My sister always told me, “when I get to turn my mom ears off, I can work completely different than when I have my mom ears on.” I noted my 20% then broke down the 10-minute-or-less tasks versus more time-consuming tasks. 

[25:33] #8 – Increased empathy. In order for me to offer the service I want and be the kind of leader that I want, empathy can help me understand my team/clients better and, in turn, scale my business.

[26:53] #9 – Motivation! I share my love for Lululemon pants early on in my real estate career. When I was teaching exercise classes pre-Real Estate, I got a complaint because my pants were see-through! So, my motivation became Lululemon pants. It was a carrot for me. After having kids, getting home to them was the best motivation ever.

[28:43] #10 – Inspiration. It may sound corny, but having kids changed what was important to me. I ask myself, “What would make me feel proud to share with my kids? How can I be a role model for my kids?” I want to make sure the words I am using with my kids impacts them so they are being raised properly. They become this inspiration for me to live the life I want to be living and the way I hope they show up for their kids one day.

Kids can inspire us to think bigger, to be a role model and leave a legacy. Parenthood does not have to have an indirect relationship with your personal growth or the growth of your business. Yes, it is hard. But it can absolutely help you scale your business.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 49: 4 Ways to Find More Time

Episode 48: When You Just Need to STOP

Episode 47: Focusing on Your Net Worth

Episode 49: 4 Ways to Find More Time

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today we are talking about time. Specifically finding more time in your day, in your week, in your month, in your life! We know we have a finite amount of town. I know for so long, I never felt like there was enough of it. I began to think about time differently. Finding more time is not just about being able to do more but making time for yourself to pursue you.

[5:02] I share two pieces to this transformation surrounding time in reference to mindset. The first idea involves the process of resetting your mindset about time. That, to me, meant to stop the need to be busy all the time. As an enneagram 3 and former collegiate student athlete, I had the mindset to be the best at all times. The second part of this is the feeling that I don’t want to miss any opportunity to live. I am an activity planner. I had a scarcity mindset around time. I was also comparing myself to people that were playing a different game. I became confident in the game I wanted to play and was able to decide how much time I wanted to invest to win that game, the game that only I can determine is successful.

[9:47] I chat about the feeling that when we are more efficient it allows us to do more. If I was more efficient, I could complete tasks more quickly and fill the rest of my time with more tasks. OR, if I have more time, I could fill it with NOTHING! Because I was so used to doing so much, I could always find things to do. There is always more laundry, more dishes until you start to honor the white space, the quiet space, the rest. When space begins to open up, you can CHOOSE what you add into your life. We had experience doing this during quarantine. You can discover things that are important to you. You can spend your time intentionally. This time is powerful.

[12:48] The second way to find more time is technology. I love technology and share a few ways I use technology to find more time. The overarching principle with technology is that it might only save you 2 minutes worth of time. Rory Vaden discusses the concept of automation and giving yourself permission to spend time on simplifying and utilizing technology in order to multiply your time tomorrow.  He says, If you can spend 30x the amount of time that the task initially takes you in order to systemize it, then it is worth it. You are investing in your time. I share a few examples:

#1 – Saved email templates. If you have a business many things can cause you to repeat yourself or say the same message over and over. You can do this in a word document where you are copying and pasting, in gmail, etc.

#2 – Make shortcuts on your phone keyboard. I share an example about how I shorten my name on my cell phone. Simple task that makes a big difference.

#3 – Automatic emails. Set emails to send later or monthly, for example. I use Boomerang.

#4 – Zoom meetings (or virtual meetings). Stop wasting time traveling!

#5 – Video to educate and update clients or prospects or leads. I share an example of my husband and his use of video in his chiropractic office.

[20:55] The third way I suggest you find more time is systems. The overarching way that you are running a business or your life. A system has to do with your schedule and what you are doing each time of the day. I personally track in 30-minute blocks. Blocking your time and making sure you are doing the most important things first [your 20% first, the things that will generate the most return on investment]. Time blocking can also be in batches. Batches is working on an aspect of your business each day as opposed to time blocking during a day. It is also important to teach people how to treat you. If you are focused and “in the zone” and someone comes in and asks for help, that is a distraction and a problem. That person needs to better understand how precious that brain spaces is to you. Specify to them when it is appropriate to work with you.

[25:14] “Other people” are the fourth way to find more time. Bringing people into your world that can help you. This does not mean you need to have people in person full-time. There are incredible virtual assistants out there you can hire to support you. The Art of Subtraction is the idea that you think of “what is the first thing I can take off of my list.” Do a time audit of your next 7 days. Where are you spending your time and what are you spending your time on. I share an example of my own time audit. I realized I was physically driving 10 hours per week. I began researching hiring a driver and then purchased a personal hotspot so I could work on the go. In what spaces are you operating at your highest value and where are you operating at your lowest value. I share an example of my daycare director. Think outside the box! You cannot do it all on your own.

Four ways for you to find more time in your world, not so you can get more done necessarily, but so you can add white space (TBD space), it inspired me to pursue myself and learn about myself. These keys took me from feeling like I was on a raft on the ocean and brought me to solid ground. I never felt there was enough time. I encourage you to start today. You have all the time in the world you just have to be intentional about it.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 48: When You Just Need to STOP

Episode 47: Focusing on Your Net Worth

Episode 46: Who Are Your People?

Episode 48: When You Just Need to STOP

As I sit here and record this podcast in August 2020, I can’t help but think about a quote: “We have been springing a marathon for the past five months.” How would we have behaved differently if we would have known that this would not be a two-week ordeal? How can you think about this in your life? Are we striving for something but perhaps overlooking the enjoyment of the journey itself? We might need to stop, to pivot, to slow down.

[3:11] I share story #7 from Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” The point is: There are times in our lives when we need to just stop. How do we do it? How do we get off the crazy train that we have made, sometimes, by choice. It may have been the path you thought was best.

[5:00] Step #1: As yourself: Why do I need to stop? “Insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” While it might feel easier to stay on the crazy train, it might not be what is best for you. That realization might motivate you to take the first step off the train. Every moment that you are not making a move is stealing a moment of joy on the other end of your life where you could have just started the process sooner.

[10:57] Step #2: How do you know when? I share a personal example and a business example. What are you using to cover up whatever emotions or bigger challenges you are feeling? (For example, coffee, wine, a packed schedule, overworking). Listen to your body, your soul, your heart and bring to light things you may be hiding.

When is it the right time to stop in business? I share another story as well as what I did to overcome it. It is important to know you are not that important. Make the changes you need to make with integrity and transparency. It is also important to know that you are that important to you. Stopping is what you should do because you are that important to you. Without stopping the train, you are hurting those around you vs. helping them.

[23:17] What does stopping look like? If you feel like you are ready to stop, a tool in your toolbox is education, perspective, podcasts/books. Council and learn, then experiment to see what works. Be intentional, sharpen your saw, do something different from the way you may have been doing it. This may also include signing up for therapy, signing up for a book club, attending church, practicing gratitude daily, hiring a nanny, etc.

From a business perspective, I used leverage to stop the train. I had amazing people I was able to turn to and say “I need help.” I had to remember that I am not that important, that other people can do the job just as good as me, if not better than me. My relationship, my heart, my life were important enough to help me draw that line in the sand.

Ask yourself, “Do I like myself when I am by myself?” What do I enjoy doing? Is stopping the train allowing me to do these things? I am not saying that you need to overhaul your life. You may need to tweak. Avoid becoming a bystander in your own life. Don’t be afraid to stop. Take action. What does stopping look like? I know this is a journey and I am so grateful that I did the work when I did it. I encourage you to make yourself a priority. You are never too busy to prioritize yourself.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 47: Focusing on Your Net Worth

Episode 46: Who Are Your People?

Episode 45: Find Your Pace

Episode 3: 3 Reasons You're Not Making Your First Hire

Episode 47: Focusing on Your Net Worth

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

The more I learn about money and financial wealth, the more intriguing it is to me. First, how you feel about money is often traced back to how you were raised and how your parents handled money. Second, I find it is challenging to find someone else to discuss money with for risk of judgement one way or the other. My goal for you today is to focus on your net worth as a baseline to start a conversation about money.

[7:28] If I am talking about money, I always want the conversation to start in discussing net worth. It is your measurement of money. It is the measurement of your financial wealth. Net worth is all that you OWN minus all that you OWE (aka your assets minus your debts). This spreadsheet will help you determine your net worth and track your progress.  I suggest updating your numbers once per quarter to see how your net worth progresses over the course of a year. Tony Robbins always says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.”

[10:28] How does it work? Using the example of real estate, perhaps you own a house and have a general idea of what it is worth. I recommend being conservative regarding your home’s value. That is the asset. Then the outstanding mortgage goes into the “debts” column.

Example:
Conservative Home Value – $250,000
minus Mortgage Debts – $200,000
Net Worth = $50,000

[12:08] Our financial picture is so much larger than a home. Here are some examples of other assets and debts.
-Car
-Checking Acct
-Savings Acct
-Investments
-401k
-Jewelry, Electronics, Art
These are all things worth putting down in your assets column. This number is what you can sell these items for, in used condition.

Examples of debts:
-Car Loan
-Student Loan
-Credit Card Debt
-Medical Debt
(What is the outstanding balance you owe as a result of what you purchased or a service you received?)

You are going to feel really proud after all of this? Or you are going to want to crawl in a hole, particularly when you have student debt. I want to share with you some statistics that I saw while reading and learning about money/wealth. In 2010 the average American’s Net Worth was $68.828. The only useful indicator with Net Worth is when it is grouped by age. Younger households have not had the time to accumulate wealth the way younger households have. Own your snapshot, it is not right or wrong. It is simply where you are right now. It doesn’t matter where you start. It is slow, consistent and disciplined.

Set a date in your calendar right now to set aside 30 minutes to focus on your Net Worth.

[18:01] So what do you do when you have these numbers? That is for YOU to decide! For me, my goal is not to be a millionaire, but instead to have financial confidence. I discuss Dave Ramsey’s perspective and Chris Hogan’s books “Everyday Millionaires” and “Retire Inspired.” I suggest you look into both! In “Everyday Millionaire” he shares:
-79% of millionaires inherited $0
-79% did not attend a prestigious private college or University
-Only 1/3 of millionaires had a six-figure household income in a single working year
-Only 31% of millionaires averaged $100k per year
-7% of millionaires averaged over $200k in household income per year

The message: Net Worth doesn’t come from making money and having big businesses but instead for consistency and discipline. Chris Hogan shares that retirement isn’t an age it is a number. It is the amount of money that will allow you to retire (aka do whatever the heck you want!). Net worth allows you to be in control of your future.

[24:37] My important keys:
1. Figure out your Net Worth NOW
2. Make up a goal!
3. Have a plan to work towards
4. Figure out how often you want to be checking in on your Net Worth. Get clear how you are progressing, month by month, quarter by quarter, year by year. How are you tracking progress towards your goal.

Hopefully today I have encouraged you to thjnk and talk about money. I hope I was able to start the conversation of where you want to be and to give you a pathway to get there. Gary Keller’s philosophy, “money is for the good it can do” is significant to me. At times I disagree that money can’t buy happiness. “When we spend our money in a way that gives us more time to spend how we see fit, the control we gain provides us with an opportunity to be happy.” Focus on your net worth. Talk about money. Make a plan for you and your family. I promise it is a worthy investment.

Net Worth Tracker Spreadsheet

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 46: Who Are Your People?

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Episode 46: Who Are Your People?

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

You may have heard a quote from Jim Rohn, “You're the average of the five people spend the most time with.” So when you think about “your people” it is important to note those that really make an impact on your life. Today we will discuss my experiences with the hopes of helping you better understand who YOUR people are.

I really don’t know if it’s ‘spending the most time’ with someone that makes the difference. I share an example. I started working with a business coach in 2013. We speak thirty minutes per week, and while my coach has changed over time, the fact that I communicate with someone who is a huge thinker, someone who challenges me, someone who encourages me, someone who is just on my team from a life and business standpoint, raises my average. In the same way, I joined a group of professional women who think massively, all coming from different industries but are entrepreneurs, who I spent 2 hours a month with and I felt like THAT raised my average. I would even consider the few hours of podcasts I listen to per week beneficial to my average and these people don’t know me.

To me, it’s not necessarily about ‘time’ spent. It’s about having an influential voice in your life in some sort of a consistent manner that can make a difference as well.

[3:30] It is important to determine which people are pulling you up and people who are pulling you down. To me, pulling you down means negativity, judgement, problems instead of inspiration, drama. Pulling you UP means inspiration, feeling good, mutual love and support. These are likely mentors or coaches in specific areas of your life. These, however, are not idols. I do not see them and feel jealousy, resentment or competitiveness. It is important to “prune” what you are consuming, specifically social media. For example, during pregnancy, I had to mute/unfollow someone that made me feel less than inspired.

[8:49] As you’re taking inventory of your people, what do you see? I heard from a friend of mine “The Rule of 33%.” He spends 33% of his time with people at his level, in his world. He spends 33% of the time with people who are ahead of him in business 33% of his time with people in his world, 33% of people behind or below him in business (nothing negative here, just facts). I loved this for 3 reasons: 1.) because you know I love tactical things, 2.) I loved that that final 33% is giving back and being that top 33% for someone else.

[10:22] I share some aha’s many people have about this. That they start to question where they are at. Your self-image is one of the most powerful things in your world. How you see yourself dictates SO much about your life and it is often inflated or deflated. I share an example from a Keller Williams conference I went to when I was 24. Whether it was a past experience or something you’ve always struggled with, try to take off all the expectations about what you look like, how smart you are and try to find some metrics. I meet with people who are the most charismatic people and they truly in their heart don’t believe it. I meet people who are so amazingly successful and they don’t see it because they think they need more. My answer to this is spend some time maybe with a close friend or a close “person” that wants to go through this exercise and ask yourself “what am I great at? What can I still work on? What areas do I want to focus on?” Use that conversation find some metrics around there.

[15:04] The biggest question I get when I chat about finding “your people” (not just who you spend the most time with but who you’re listening to and who is consistently breathing life into you) is, “How do I find mentors?” “How do I find that 33% above me? If I want to raise my average, how do I make that happen?” Here’s my answer: you asking the question is the first step. YOU ROCK! Just being intentional about raising your level is the strongest foundation you can have.

[16:00] Here are some of my ideas: Listen to more podcasts, read more books, follow more of those role models that inspire you on social, listen to ted talks. I can tell you, podcasts have changed my life and will continue to do so.  Another way that I’ve loved that’s free is to join Facebook groups. If you want to do something locally in person, I would bet there is something currently happening in your town right now that you could tap into; whether it be a professional network, a moms group, a faith group, a volunteer group, etc.

[19:05] You don’t have to change where you work, you don’t have to get rid of all your friends and start new, but you do have to be intentional with who your people are! It’s likely that you’re hanging out with people who are on the same level as you are, so my first step would be go up first, find those inspirations, find those mentors, figure out where in your schedule you can build them into your life.

While Jim Rohn is obviously legendary, even if you’re spending your days with your toddlers, you will not average out to be like them. I truly believe it’s far more important to have consistent conversations with those that challenge you and inspire you than it is to think about it from a time standpoint. Just this focus will start a cascade of developmental growth which will raise your average without question.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 45: Find Your Pace

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Episode 45: Find Your Pace

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today we are talking about the pace of your life. The impact pace has on my life is astounding. When my life and my business are at a sustainable pace and are aligned, I can feel the synergy and balance. I am sharing how we can be intentional about our pace.

[4:09] Michael Todd said, “The pace of grace.” You are moving at an optimal pace for your body while doing the work you are called to be doing. How do we find our pace, carry it out and maintain it? I share 3 keys.

[4:56] Whether it is nature or nurture, we all have our notions of what pace is right for us. That mindset is what we feel inside of us, that sometimes drives us without us recognizing it. I have always moved so quickly, unable to stop. I found so much success in my early life when I never rested. I learned a lot from it, too. I learned what I could handle, how being constantly on-the-go affected my family, etc. There is not a right or wrong pace, but a pace that is right for you. The key is being intentional and confident about your pace.

[9:39] The second key is scheduling. “In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.” In other words, what are we putting back on our plate? In a business setting, we are more aware of what meetings are important and what aren’t? We are finding that we are missing the connections with our teams because we aren’t talking as much as we used to. We aren’t having as many non-business conversations.

[14:13] I discuss the personal side of scheduling. I share how I had a difficult time attending evening events because I preferred to be home with my family then. During quarantine I enjoyed the quiet during that time of the day and it is something I will consider when scheduling in the future. Your schedule will dictate the pace of your life.

[16:45] Habits is the 3rd key I discuss. I share how I began to put everything into my calendar that I was going to do over the course of the day. I noticed having a plan/discipline allowed me to operate at the pace I want to. I ask you to consider where are you finding yourself wasting time? It is important to recognize these habits you do not want to let back in.

Our pace must align with who we are. The more our pace aligns with the life we want to live, the more we can be intentional about our life. Being in control of your pace is what we are craving.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 44: Setting Expectations Within Your Team

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Episode 44: Setting Expectations Within Your Team

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today we are talking about goals. One thing I am learning as I get older is how different we all are. We have different backgrounds, experiences, childhoods. It is our differences that make the world go round. But, differences in perspectives and opinions can make it difficult for us to understand one another. Today we will discuss how we navigate these differences in our businesses by setting clear and concise expectations.

[5:16] I discuss setting, or clarifying, expectations. We have to start with the framework of truly understanding how different we all truly are. We set expectations to understand each other better, meaning we can work together better, create more, help more and provide more value to our business, allowing it to flourish.

Get the FREE downloadable outline we use: Expectations Conversation

[7:02] I share our Expectations Conversation exercise we use when onboarding new team members or employees. These are not casual questions, which is why they can make such an impact! The meeting can range from 20 minutes to an hour to ensure you are getting the most out of the meeting. It is a set of questions broken into 6 parts. It will allow you and your team member to get clear on the expectations of one another.

[9:33] Honesty Expectations is the first section. The question: “On a scale of 1-10, how honest do you want me to be with you?” The follow up question: “Can you give me an example of when someone was extremely honest with you, or a 10.” Put similarly, “What does a 10 look like for you?” I share an example in my business world where a difference in expectations created a challenging situation on my team.

[14:24] Section 2 answers the question “How does someone win or lose with you?” – the Win/Lose Expectation. Try to listen as much as possible, avoid interrupting or disrupting the way they are responding. Give him or her the floor and utilize silence. I share how my team members can win and lose with me.

[18:08] Section 3: Sensitive Issues Expectations. For example, let’s say you hire someone and a few months in, you learn this employee has bad body odor. How do you handle it? Have the conversation early on and ASK! The question: “If a sensitive issue should arise, how would you like me to address it with you?” I share some examples. Sensitive issues in my world are usually handled best after I give myself 24 hours to think about it (we call it the “24 Hour Rule.”)

[22:45] The 4th and 5th sections are all about job standards and expectations. Conversations include things like “This is what you are responsible for,” ”what excites you most about the position?” I share about the 30/60/90 model in section 5. It is all about milestones and results driven metrics to help determine what success will look like after 30 days, 60 days and 90 days. How will they know if they are winning and how will they know if they are off course?

[25:37] The six section is the final piece to this exercise: “Here is what you can expect for Accountability.” We have made it this far, this is how it works. It is not aggressive, it is not mean, it is CLEAR. Clear is kind. Gary Keller says, “Sometimes you are losing so slowly, you think you are actually winning.” Use this section as a time to set expectations on what accountability looks like.

Using this process with a new hire (or an old hire) leaves me feeling so connected to my team member. The more connected you are, the better the results and enjoy the process. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalms 139, Verse 14). And so is every other person around you. We are all different and unique. Take the time to understand one another.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 43: Pursue You Picks | Present Over Perfect

Today I am discussing from of my favorite points in the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. It is a book so many friends recommended to me. I am going to give you some of my favorite points throughout the book with the hope that you will enjoy some perspective shifts and takeaways.

[1:31] I dig right in and share how Shauna opens the book discussing her life. She says, “I ate on the run, slept in my clothes, worshipped at the alter of my to-do list…” Referring to the to-do list portion of her quote, I compare “What do I want to do today?” or “What do I choose today?” vs. “What do I have to do because everyone is counting on me?”

[4:05] So what is this journey of present over perfect? Shauna explains how she had to unpack some beliefs that were deeply engrained in her life. The idea that more is more is one many of you may relate to. I share how I did not know how to rest when I suddenly allowed myself free time. I had to ask myself “What is it that I WANT to do?”

[6:47] So where do we start? She shares an example about oil and vinegar. We all need to pour out the “acid” in our lives, the things that hold us back and/or bog us down. Whether it be via prayer or therapy, conversations with those in our worlds. This has been very powerful in my life and I have learned how special the oil is underneath.

[9:15] I share another takeaway: “Saying no!” I understood the concept of saying “no” but had trouble figuring out what to say “yes” to. Sometimes when you start to say no or “prune” things out of your life, it feels bare at first. When you rebuild, it is important to open up space, time, energy, bandwidth, to determine what you want to say yes to.

[11:29] When brave looks boring! “Brave doesn’t always involve grand gestures…sometimes the most beautiful thing we are doing is invisible and unsexy.” I share how I felt many times that brave and figuring out what to say “yes” to was incredibly boring. I learned to keep it simple and learn about myself.

[14:29] “Let ourselves be seen, just as we are…the ache for perfection keeps us isolated and exhausted.” The process of being present over perfect involves deconstructing the life you are living, then learning about ourselves. We need to ask ourselves: “What do we want?” then the third part is holding ourselves accountable. I share an example of when I put my phone away for 3 hours and the impact it had on time I spent with my kids. I was present and able to identify what is important, not only to us, but the other people in our world, too.

[18:16] The idea of “new fuel” was most impactful for me. I felt like, when I poured out the acid, I lost track of what my fuel was. What was driving me? Shauna Niequist shares how she had trouble ending the book and staying motivated to finish the book. Her need for accomplishment motivated her to do so much. “What powers our work when its no longer motivated by addiction to achievement?” She shares how what fuels her now is love. It is less exciting, sure, but it warms her heart so much more.

Wherever you are in your life, I hope something here resonated with you. I hope read the book Present Over Perfect and I hope it changes your life.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 42: Thriving With a Remote Team With Sheena Saydam

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

I am so excited to share Sheena Saydam with you today! We have known each other for a while now and has a fantastic real estate team (Saydam Properties Group) in Maryland/DC area. Most of her team is entirely remote and has been for 10 years! I am so excited for you to hear her advice because she has been doing this for such a long time. This episode is full of tactical and practical advice.

There has been so much conversation with working remote/working from home. Many of us were forced to make a shift very suddenly. Some people work from home and love it and others work from home and hate it. I am excited to bring in Sheena because she built a remote team (pre-COVID) and is thriving.

[3:43] Sheena shares a little about herself. She has been in real estate for about 10 years. As her business grew, she realized she needed a little help but not necessarily full-time. Her business is in the Maryland/DC area and is entirely referral-based, so there is a good amount of traveling in any direction on any given day. I hired my first team member, a virtual Transaction Coordinator. She lives in Texas and we are in DC. She has hired and trained all of our operations staff virtually.

[6:59] Sheena explains that adaptability (and kindness) is the #1 thing she looks for in hiring remote members for her team. She has an adaptability test that she uses when hiring. Whenever she interviews an agent or a local operations agent, she takes them to the Bubble Tea drink shop in her city. It is a slightly complicated process and she lets them take the reins. If a future agent gets overwhelmed with the menu or is slightly rude, we know he/she is not the agent for them. You don’t have as much hand holding when you are working remotely so it is important that employees can be adaptable on their own.

[11:47] She discusses systems they have in place to help support virtual work. She requires constant check-ups throughout the day. They have to be strategic and planned so it is not disruptive and does not derail trust. Sheena explains the check-ups that her team has each week.

[21:35] Sheena explains some challenges she has seen in a remote work environment. She noted that everyone goes through the first month overwhelmed and tired. So, she completes a time audit with them to help determine the best way to break down their day. It helps her team members take responsibility for their time, acknowledging clarity and power. Mandy explains how her Director of Operations and her daughters went on a walk each morning to signify work starting and walked each evening to signify work ending.

[29:10] Sheen shares a few nuggets of wisdom with those that might be struggling a bit working from home. Patience and open communication as well as the ability to be adaptable are three she emphasizes.

To learn more about Sheena and her business, visit www.saydamproperties.com.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

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Episode 41: Do You Want to Start a Podcast?

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today I am excited to share with you my journey starting and growing this podcast! You have asked me such great questions and shared such great thoughts, which has fueled me so much along the way. Surprisingly, I get asked a lot about this, so I hope this discussion can serve as a resource for you or someone you know.

[2:45] The first question I always ask is “Why?” There are so many different reasons. Essentially a podcast is an easy and convenient way that consumers can consume your content. But why? Why are they consuming your content? What about that is important? I share the example about the way my real estate team uses video blogs to educate followers! It serves as another marketing arm and expands our reach and adds value, not to mention, allowing followers to get to know about us.

I personally started my podcast for ME. I have been through so many successes and failures with my businesses. I was beginning to feel compelled to share about them. Keith Cunningham’s book The Road Less Stupid touches on committing to prioritizing thinking. I am sitting with my thoughts, prioritizing them and now sharing them.

[11:50] Identify what topic(s) you will discuss and dive into. I share my process. I heard an idea that if you are able to write down 5 to 10 topics that you want to chat about then you have enough content for an entire podcast. Find those for yourself. What important topics do you feel called to speak on? From there, I was able to hone in on the big pieces I was passionate about. I began to notice a theme that tied them all together. Note: It is not going to be perfect right away. Keep moving forward!

[19:34] Make a game plan for the logistics. I explain how I am not an expert in this department so I use the help of others as much as I can. First, I recommend identifying if you want to personally handle the logistics part. Second, go to YouTube to find free videos! Third, determine the applications you might use to help. For example: I use Libsyn as my podcast host, which is what distributes the podcast to the different outlets. I use Garage Band to record (because I have a Macbook). My website (mandyfriend.com) is hosted by Squarespace. Additionally, I recorded an intro and an outro as well. How often do you want to post new episodes? Do you want to share clips on social media?

[25:49] I chat about my to do list, or a flow chart, starting with the Podcast Launch. I started with getting 5 episodes recorded and ready to go before the launch. Next, I found opening and closing music that I liked. I also had a professional photography session. I decided I would use these “lifestyle photos” for my cover art for the podcast. I determined how long it takes to edit podcasts and, ultimately determined how long the editing process took start to finish. I chose to start 5 episodes, releasing the first 3 on launch day. I was ahead of the game and helping myself stick to the plan I made without being stressed.

You can “go big” with this podcast or you can go simple. Whichever you choose, be clear with WHY you want to do this. While it might not be easy, taking slow steps, making small actions can add up and make a difference.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 40: Leading Yourself First

Episode 39: How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt: Part 2

Episode 38: How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt: Part 1

Episode 37: What I Think Every Graduate Needs to Hear

Episode 40: Leading Yourself First

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Leadership is a big word. There are so many types of leaders, levels and styles of leadership. Most of the time these conversations come about with regard to how one might lead other people. Today I am discussing how leading myself first has positively impacted my ability to lead others. I explain how it has shown up in my life and my business with the hopes that you will recognize the power of leading yourself first in your life.

I share my background in business. I began my real estate business beginning at age 22. My team began to grow with more agents and more administrative staff. I got to a point where I was working in the business, helping buyers and sellers, negotiating, etc. AND doing a ton behind the scenes, too, keeping the lights on, crunching numbers, etc. It was wearing on me and, if I didn’t make a change, it was going to affect my clients, too. I realized how much of my day I was being reactive instead of purposeful. I had to get out of production and start working ON my business. And then, I had to cut the excuses and take a hard look at my leadership. Is my leadership allowing my business to succeed or equipping it to succeed? If people are coming into my world, that is a huge responsibility. I need to give them the best opportunity to grow and prosper. That is my motivation. That is my fuel to lead myself first.

[12:45] I share a step to begin the process. Be honest with yourself. Be humble. My coach shared a quote with me: “Performance equals potential minus interference.” Do not be in your own way.

[14:53] Consume content on development and leadership. I started to make a serious commitment to professional development. There are so many books, podcasts, etc. at your fingertips! In Episode 22, I discussed Accidental Diminishers in leadership. John Maxwell’s book Leadershift is another great example that struck me. I had to make this a priority and put it in my schedule.

[18:08] I share another step: Thinking time! I am reading a book called The Road Less Stupid, by Keith Cunningham. His entire book is on this point. Taking the time to sit and think is something I used to think was a waste of time. It is, in fact, the exact opposite. Some questions that are very simple: What is working in my life? What are my priorities? What do I want on my bucket list this summer? He shares many more.

[20:12] The final tactical piece is conversation time. We start with our consumption, then thinking time and now conversation time. I have really grown to value conversations. In her book Fierce Conversations, Susan Scott discusses how the conversation is the relationship. How do we prioritize this? Be purposeful about having them. When I was so busy and was not leading myself, I was not prioritizing checking in with people or supporting people. Nothing is more important than these conversations because nothing is more important than these relationships.

[25:23] I chat about discipline. This process is simple, not easy! Leading yourself first means putting all of these pieces together by being disciplined and making them an important part of your life. When you lead yourself first to create a tailwind, a ripple effect for every single person you come into contact with.

I leave you with a question, “What is one thing I can do to take the first step to leading myself today?” The better you lead yourself, the better you can lead, influence and positively everyone that crosses your path.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 39: How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt: Part 2

Episode 38: How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt: Part 1

Episode 37: What I Think Every Graduate Needs to Hear

Episode 22: Are You An "Accidental Diminsher" Leader?

Episode 39: How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt: Part 2

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today we are talking about how to get rid of “Mom Guilt” – Part 2! In Part 1, we discussed why it is a problem. We discussed the impact of social media and the way we consume other’s lives. We also talked about the importance of deep relationships to better and how we define what it really means to be a good mom.

I discuss the next step. After we create our list of what things we think defines being a good mom, it is important to understand how that fits into our lives. Theodore Roosevelt says, “Do what you can with what you have where you are.”

Today, I ask, “What do you need to be a good mom?” If you only give yourself half of what you need you can only give your children and family half of what they need, half of what you think makes you a good Mom. I shared what I have learned about myself in this process. What is the difference between the days I yell and the days I do not yell at my kids? Journaling helped me understand rhythms in my life.

[9:56] I discuss the concept of “Deferred Rage,” a term coined by my husband. If one thing bothers me, I defer the rage or frustration to someone else. If I am not in a good place with my marriage, I am not showing up for my kids the way I want to. How often do I need to see my therapist? How often do I need to work out? How often do I need to pray? How often do I need to see my extended family? How often do I need to see my girlfriends? If there are things/activities that make you more patient and present with your kids, take note! Make a list. What do I need to show up how I want to show up as a Mom. The more you work on this, the better you will show up in all areas of your life.

[12:37] Next, ask yourself, “What does my WORK life need to look like for me to be the best Mom I can be.” I share an example. As I went through this process, I learned when I am going through negotiations at work, I am completely stressed. I was unable to show up the way I wanted to for my team and my family. Like with your personal life, notice the times that make you the most stressed out and address them. Realize how they impact you and those around you. You may need to reconfigure some things in your world. Perhaps, have an open discussion with your employer about what tasks may cause stress and some ways to combat that.

How can you check the boxes of what it means to be a good mom within the parameters of the life that is in front of you. If you are able to look forward and see things that you can change right now (through a person, process or system/technology), how can you make progress to ease some of those restrictions that may be causing stress and impacting the way you show up for others. Be aware and confident of your process and your pursuit. It is not about an end destination. Focus on the progress. I grant you permission to call yourself a Good Mom along the way.

[21:32] If you are feeling that you are falling short, make a plan! Pursue you. Brainstorm ways you can show up better for yourself. Once you lay all of that out, your brain is going to trick you. You are going to have moments where you are going to be like “I am still not doing enough, I am not giving my child what they need.” That is why Mom Guilt is so hard to fight. It is always around. It takes time and practice to get rid of mom guilt. When you feel those thoughts coming into your mind, you need to rewire you brain. It happens one thought at a time. Brené Brown shares the idea of a “Silly First Draft,” a first thought that comes into our minds. Immediate thoughts that we string together in our mind that are not true. They need to me automated, validated and replaced with the truth.

[24:05] I share a story about how I had my parents watch my children overnight. When my children got emotional as I was about to leave, my silly first drafts started popping up and I had to acknowledge them then replace them with the truth. Alone time is what will make me better and allow me to show up for them in the best way.

[28:09] I share how Mom Guilt has stopped plaguing my day-to-day life as a result of re-training my brain, quieting that inner voice and strengthening my grounded confidence. I invite you to pursue the same. Take a step forward and pursue what you feel is going to help you get closer to being a good mom. That process of pursuit to me, means you are a Good Mom right now.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 38: How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt: Part 1

Episode 37: What I Think Every Graduate Needs to Hear

Episode 33: Building Your BEST Normal

Episode 38: How to Get Rid of Mom Guilt: Part 1

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today we discuss “Mom Guilt.” This is the first podcast of a 2-podcast-series on the topic. It is something that ties us together as women and moms in the form of a constant inner monologue. I share tips on how to overcome it.

Brene Brown details what is called a “A Shitty First Draft.” To remain PG, we will move forward calling that our “Silly First Draft.”

[4:00] A first step in getting rid of Mom Guilt is tackling that “silly first draft.” Brene Brown discusses Grounded Confidence. When we know that we are a good mother, we can say “those thoughts aren’t true” over and over again. It is like a muscle and takes practice. I know that I am a good mom and even though I have feelings creep up into my thoughts, I can say “That is a Silly First Draft.”

[5:10] I define Mom guilt: “A pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or making decisions that may mess up your kids in the long run.”

[6:22] I discuss how Social Media can affect Mom Guilt. As many of us know, we compare our lives to the highlight reels of others. We cannot control what others post but we can control the way we consume it. It is important to be aware that we are looking at others’ highlight reels. It is important to remember that we tend to think those on the outside have all the answers when in reality, we are the only people that have experienced what we have experienced. And it is important to trust that. I finally discuss Mom Shaming. I explain Brene Brown’s thoughts in my own words: We are more likely to judge other people in ways we feel our own shame about. I share a story about Mom Shaming at the playground.

[15:15] I share an opinion: Mom Guilt can also cultivate when women do not have strong, deep connections with other women who can relate and respect their opinions. The more you talk about it, the less power it has on you.

[18:31] I share some questions you can ask yourself to start the process of tearing down Mom Guilt. The first step is to journal and reflect. Ask yourself, “what does it mean TO ME to be a good mom?” Some ideas could be: How much time do you spend with your children? What activities do you do with your children? How do you handle meltdowns? What kind of education are they receiving? I share many more.

[23:21] I introduce the 80/20 rule to this concept of Mom Guilt. What are the things that will make the most positive impact, that will make you say, “I am a good Mom.” Those are your 20% things. I share a quote: “If you love what you have you have everything you need.” I share how I have come up with an amount of time that I donate to “eyeball to eyeball” time with my kids, which is 30 minutes. I also realized that too much of that time, more than 4 hours, has diminishing returns.

[30:46] After this journaling and reflection, you will realize 1 of 2 things. 1. That you are doing all of the things you should to “be a good mom” on your terms or 2. That you may need to dig in a bit more to learn what those things are and how to achieve them.

Stay tuned next week! We are digging into how we need to show up in our lives in general to show up to be the Good Moms we dreamed of being.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 37: What I Think Every Graduate Needs to Hear

Episode 33: Building Your BEST Normal

Episode 29: My Top Work From Home Hacks

Episode 37: What I Think Every Graduate Needs to Hear

Today I address a question I have been getting from my community. I am asked what advice I can give college graduates as they transition into the “real world.” Whether you are graduating college and entering the “real world” or crafting your “best normal” following a long quarantine, I share six tips to help along the way.

[1:38] What DOESN’T MATTER: Your degree! Now stay with me here. Don’t let your degree (your major, your minor) define where you are supposed to be. You have changed and grown so much since you declared your major years ago.

[5:02] What MATTERS: Your attitude! Have a smile on your face when you walk into a workplace or office. In our businesses, when you make that environment better, we are the people that you want in our world. Being growth-minded, being willing to learn and searching for ways to learn more are also significant.

[7:06] Another thing that MATTERS: Your confidence balanced with humility. I encourage those on my team to always remember they have a voice. I also don’t want anyone to take for granted what it has taken for our team/business to get where it is. Respect the people that have come before you. A good way to accomplish this is to, for the first few weeks, listen far more than you talk – listen 80% of the time. Better understand how can I add value to these people and this team.

[8:55] A third thing that MATTERS: Social maturity. Add value in the sense that you are a person that others want to be around. Observe. Be socially aware of how much work is being accomplished or how much banter is happening throughout the day. I discuss the importance of limiting gossip.

[11:52] Learn about yourself. Perhaps take a personality profile. Learn about what you like, what you are good at, what you don’t like and what things challenge you.]

[14:16] Try new things! When you try new things you are learning more about yourself. If you are feeling like you got a certain degree and should be at a certain level when you enter the workforce, you are going to set yourself up for failure. Get rid of that ego! Network, volunteer, intern, listen to podcasts, read books. Learn skills! There are a TON of careers out there and you can make an income in a unique way by getting creative.

[18:00] Seek mentors. This can be formal or informal. Get insight into someone’s world. That insight can guide how you want to live your life. It is helpful when you find someone who will pull back the curtain and show you everything, not just the highlight reels of their lives. Get an idea of where they started, what is their history? Where has this path taken them? Is this the life you want to live, too?

[23:09] Get ready to fail. You are going to fail! I share an example of a conversation I had with my father when I wanted to enter the real estate market back in 2010. When you fail, get back up. You will be stronger for it. Don’t forget your non-negotiables. Learn about what is important to you. These could be your health, your relationships, your faith, etc. When you are about to fail, lose what you can afford to. Don’t get too far away from the things that really matter to you.

Whether you are graduating and entering the real world or putting together your best normal, I hope these steps can serve is a blessing to you.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 36: Supporting Our Teams in Times of Crisis

Episode 33: Building Your BEST Normal

Episode 29: My Top Work From Home Hacks

Episode 11: Using the DISC to Hire With Dr. Ed Gigliotti

Episode 36: Supporting Our Teams in Times of Crisis With Jay Niblick

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today I welcome Jay Niblick, the co-founder and CEO of WizeHire and an expert on the DISC profile. In times like these, it is more important than ever to understand one another and how we best interact with those around us. Jay shares his knowledge of the DISC and how we use it to thrive in times of stress.

William Moulton Marston created the foundational theories behind DISC behavioral analysis. The D is how we attack problems- slow and deliberate or quick and impulsive. Neither are right or wrong out of context. I describes people. It is the extrovert/introvert scale. S is pace - how fast or slow do I want to go? C is procedures. How detail-oriented are you? Not understanding one another is the number one cause of interpersonal conflict. Jay suggests taking the assessment to begin the journey of learning about yourself.

Mandy explains how any solid team needs a variety of personalities. Jay explains how, on a team, it is important to hire people that are good at what you are not. That makes a well-rounded team. However, sometimes these people have different personalities, so it is hard to connect initially. You may initially feel like you want to hire someone who is just like you, because you get along so well. But they also have the same weaknesses, so it is not beneficial to the team.

[12:39] I ask Jay how your personality affects how you show up in a time of crisis. During a large-scale study, he learned that the people that handled themselves in times of hardship and performed better had 2 primary things: self-awareness and the ability to adapt. Self-awareness is knowing your strengths and weaknesses and knowing them well. In crisis mode, problems show up on a team that didn’t use to exist because their ability to adapt is not strong enough.

Jay notes how this is all subconscious. Like breathing, you don’t think about your behaviors, until you focus on them. People will always migrate back to their natural tendencies. He emphasizes how everyone is different. Everyone on the team sees the goal at hand from a different angle. Not everyone is fully informed, but when all the team’s perspectives are put together, the group’s vision strengthens.

[35:30] The most important thing a leader can do for his or her team: Understand them and know them better. We interpret others behaviors through our own emotional filter. In other words, if we cannot understand another person’s behavior, we might try to think what emotion I might need to have in order to behave that similar way. Understanding what drives a teammates’ behaviors better helps us appreciate those around us better and understand why they do what they do.

[39:16] I emphasize how a certain personality does not fare better than another personality in times of crisis. We all just tackle it differently.

[42:15] Jay suggested reading “The Animal School,” a short story every leader should take a look at. The concept or objective of the book is that there are many ways to accomplish a goal, but it might look different for each of us.

www.wizehire.com

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 33: Building Your BEST Normal

Episode 29: My Top Work From Home Hacks

Episode 11: Using the DISC to Hire With Dr. Ed Gigliotti

Episode 35: Walking in Faith During Hard Times

On Mother’s Day, I was so honored to preach at my local church, Trinity Communion Church in Rochester, New York, where my family and I have been members for over 7 years. Today I am sharing that sermon. I was nervous, excited, honored and flattered…but mostly terrified! I worked hard, I researched, I prayed, and I did it! I realized I want to share this because I said “yes,” even though I felt so far outside my comfort zone. Hopefully it encourages you to do the same thing.

I introduced myself and shared a special message to mothers out there. While in a literal sense Mother’s are life-giving, they are also life-giving in an emotional and spiritual sense.

I expressed how difficult it is to live in faith during these difficult times. How do we get back there? How do we go from fear to faith? The answer: Remember your strength. I feel so often that in order for me to walk in faith, there are burdens that I am facing. Maybe if something outside of me changes, my burdens will be lighter and THEN I can walk in faith. You know that fullness does not come form anything outside of us. Instead when I say “remember your strength” I mean remember the strength that is already inside of you. We have been given the things we need, but at times we have forgotten it.

[10:35] Psalm 31: David is calling out and facing challenges and a back-and-forth. I shared a meme: “Home isolation has its ups and downs. One minute you are cleaning the baseboards with a Q-Tip and the next minute you are watching squirrels out your window.” It is the case for many of us now. One minute I am feeling happy, then sad, then frustrated. This back and forth is hard. It is exhausting. How do we move through these feelings? How do we walk in faith?

[12:12] I share step 1: We bring our challenges to the life. David cries out “Be merciful to me lord for I am in distress.” If we keep what we are feeling in the dark by avoiding it or denying it, we are not able to walk in truth. If you feel frustrated, angry, upset, I want to encourage you to hand it over to the Lord in prayer. Share it with a partner, friend or bring it to your church. Bring it to the light. What you are feeling or struggling with is worthy to be brought to the light.

[14:30] I shared Brené Brown’s concept of “Comparative Suffering.” It is the idea that we naturally take our pain, our grief and our challenges and we compare them to others pain, grief and challenges. And if the jury comes back that their challenges are harder or more traumatic than ours than we subconsciously feel like our feelings aren’t worth being felt. We drown ourselves in gratitude and push those feelings into darkness, too.

[16:01] I share step 2: Remove the facades from your challenges. So often what is actually upsetting us isn’t actually the problem. I share an example from my own experience. Sometimes your problems are your problems, but sometimes you need to dig deeper. Really examine what might be covering up the challenges that are actually hidden even deeper so you can bring those to the light too.

[19:16] I express the importance of bringing these challenges to the light. If we don’t, it is impossible to walk in faith. Building armor around our heart, we protect our hearts from pain and feel safe. But faith, joy and happiness cannot come in, either. We must prepare our hearts by opening our hearts.

[20:24] I share step 3: Remember His strength. Call His strength to our minds. The more that I have learned about Jesus, the more I have sat with the words of the bible, the more I know his strength. I want to encourage you to spend more time with The Bible. Find the ways that God is working in your life and call those to mind.

[22:23] I close with our final step: Remember YOUR strength. Remembering His strength allows us to remember our own. As we misstep, as we sin, as we encounter challenges, how beautiful is it that Christ has given us the opportunity each day to be made new? The more that we know where our strength comes from, the more we can live in faith and not in fear. The Lord’s strength is in you and it is also in me, and that is how we can walk in faith.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 34: Working Through Challenges in Your Marriage

Episode 33: Building Your BEST Normal

Episode 32: Comparative Successes and Sufferings

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time