Episode 34: Working Through Challenges in Your Marriage With Dave and Laurie Re

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

In the Pursuers Community I asked all of you what topics you were interested in me discussing. One of my dear friends suggested a podcast on marriage. Marriage is especially difficult right now, especially when we have challenges like the ones we are facing right now, in quarantine. I welcomed David and Laurie Re to the podcast, a beautiful couple that has been married for almost 14 years. They have two amazing boys, ages 9 and 12. They always say, “When opposites attract, they’re right!” We will discuss their challenges over the past decade and a half and how they overcame them. They believe every single marriage has hope and the ability to thrive.

I welcome Dave and Laurie to the podcast and asked them a little bit about themselves. They explain how they first met and began dating in high school and have been together for more than half their lives! (They have been married almost 14 years.) The couple explains a very difficult time they walked through together, one which almost ended their marriage.

[14:41] Dave and Laurie explain the common stressors in a marriage. In today’s world (quarantine, economic challenges, home schooling, etc.) we are trying to figure out a “new normal” and they explained how they had to reconfigure their roles. It takes a ton of communication, practice and intentionality to accomplish this. It is often easier to blame someone else instead of TOGETHER working towards the problem. This is an evergreen topic that doesn’t go away. We are in a challenging time now, but there is no guarantee our marriages won’t experience another stressor in the future. We must adapt and react and we must do it as a team.

[21:56] Dave and Laurie explain the tools they use to get through challenging times. Laurie explained how she prayed for Dave and how they use prayer as a way to connect and grow. Dave explained how they utilized the 5 love languages in their relationship recovery. It helped them to learn how to communicate more effectively. They explain how we often love people the way we want to receive love as opposed to how they accept love. That can cause challenges and create issues in marriage, unintentionally.

[36:22] Dave and Laurie share one more tip: Taking the time to TALK. They fell into a habit of only talking about schedules, like two business partners managing a household. Laurie felt her kids needed more attention than her husband and that Dave was just another person loving in her house that she had to take care of. She explains how Dave was easier to put on the back burner. She emphasized the importance of remembering who she married first. Their kids then see a healthy relationship because they reprioritized their attention and love. They suggested date nights at home and having pre-made questions to reconnect during these conversations.

The closed by impressing the importance of avoiding big decisions when you are in a valley in life, whether it be in business, life or marriage. Marriage is worth fighting for.

Connect

Private Facebook group: “Connect”

Website: www.risemarriage.org

For FREE at-home date night ideas, text PODCAST to 5853717301

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I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 33: Building Your BEST Normal

Episode 32: Comparative Successes and Sufferings

Episode 28: Harness the Power of Your Mind with Mindfulness

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Episode 33: Building Your BEST Normal

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

We have all had our lives impacted in one way or another. It has allowed us to see a different perspective on life. My husband and I chatted about the phrase “new normal.” Instead I want you to think about your “BEST normal.” All the things you are decided to invest your time in become your life. Don’t be a bystander. I want to help you build your best normal.

Each day we fall into routines. We have kids, commitments and extracurriculars. To make a routine change must be intentional. You have to take action to change things up. That action might mean saying “no” to a commitment that everyone expects you to say “yes” to. That action could be leaving a job to stay home or taking a job to support your kids and your home. These are not small decisions. Making them requires confidence. A lack of confidence causes us to freeze and continue on the path we are on.

Quarantine has forced us to take a look at our routines. My hope is that this time gave you the gift of disorientation. Craig Groschel refers to it. Once you have seen something or felt something so profound or so powerful, big or small, you can never go back to where you used to be- even if you wanted to! This thing disoriented you so much that you will never feel comfortable or settled. You can only get this gift of disorientation when you’ve done something different. I explained when I felt this, during a time when my real estate team visited and shadowed a high performing real estate team. I don’t want this disorientation to have to do with anyone else. I want it to be your headspace and your experience. I hope quarantine has given you a glimpse into a new way of living that has disoriented you in a way that you will never be able to return to. There are people in every stage of disorientation.

[12:50] I explain examples of some realizations:

“I realize how much I like having more home cooked meals with my family.”
“I realized how much I like working from home”
“I realized how much I like to not rush out the door in the morning”
“I realize how much I love working out at home vs. in a gym”

I explain examples of things in your previous world that oyu used to complain about and might appreciate them even more:

“I will never feel guilty about wanting to send my kids to school”
“I never appreciated how much I enjoy time in the car”
“I miss working outside of the home or in the office”
“I miss traveling, attending concerts, etc. “

This time isn’t just for learning about what we want to change but identify all the things you were doing before that we want to keep. If you have never truly experienced it, you don’t really know if you like it! Build your best normal starting right now.

[18:33] I explore the process of designing your best normal. I discuss the concept of enjoying “working from home.” How can we explore this best normal. What does working from home mean to me? Do I want to work from home all the time? A few days a week? Act as though you have a magic wand and you can list everything you want. I truly believe if you want something, design it and go get closer to it. If you don’t design it or pursue it, you definitely are not going to get it. Continuing with our example, if you go back to work and you now know how much you like working from home, you will show up with resentment and frustration. It will impact the way you are impacting the company and it’s culture.

When you feel the pressure to conform to how its always been done. Pressure that is well meaning. We all think the way we run our lives is the best way to run our lives. The key is that the more you dig into why you want what you want, the more confident you can be when you actually put those desires into action.

[26:40] I discuss how you can “mess up” this process. Not taking the time to reflect in a humble way with an open heart. I share a story from my own personal experience. Be sure you are reflecting when you have stable emotions. Wherever you go, there you are. So if you find yourself changing things over and over, you need to look inward. Start small. You don’t need to change everything at once.

Mindset. Reflection. Action. This quarantine has given us this opportunity. It is more important than ever to be thoughtful or mindful. When you are building your best normal you mind is limitless. I want you to be inspired to carry it out day by day.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 32: Comparative Successes and Sufferings

Episode 31: Why You Don’t Need to Make Massive Changes

Episode 28: Harness the Power of Your Mind with Mindfulness

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Episode 32: Comparative Successes and Sufferings

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

One of my favorite quotes is “don’t compare your insides to other peoples outsides.” This also ties into another all-time favorite quote: “You can’t keep score if you are playing a different game.” NEWS ALERT: We are all playing different games. Brené Brown’s work has sent me on a journey of embracing imperfection. One of her podcasts hit home for me, too. I have always found myself comparing myself to others, not so much in a way of being better than others, but learning from others to be my best. I have always wanted to reach my maximum potential. After a lot of work over the past decade, I have been able to name my never-good-enough feelings and emotions that I was unable to pinpoint before. I have come to accept that the path I have taken in life is that path that was meant for me.

Brené explains Comparative Suffering in a recent podcast (entitled “Unlocking Us” - posted March 27th). We are very aware there are people who are hurting more than we are hurting. They have less then we have. We downplay our own suffering as a result. We could be so much more “worse off.” Since I have judged my worth based on other people around me I have found myself judging my suffering based on those around me too! I had the realization. I had never let myself sit in the pain…acknowledge the pain and just feel sad. I always told myself my problems are not worth enough to feel my pain (AKA what I am feeling is wrong!). You have to FEEL it so you can HEAL it!

[10:15] My first message: I have to sit in the suffering so I can work through it and move through it. That helps me move past it and grow stronger from it.

[11:25] How long do I stay there? I don’t have the answer to that. There is not a right answer. I do know that there is a right time for you. I want to encourage you to listen to yourself and not the expectations of what everyone else thinks is a proper suffering and/or mourning time. I shared the example of our family losing our dog unexpectedly earlier this year. It took me about 2 weeks in mourning before I felt my heart began to feel mended. Your measure of time is your own. Surround yourself with people who can help you.

[18:27] In Brene’s March 27th episode, she says when we are sitting in suffering it is actually not even seen as sitting in suffering. She calls it “giving ourselves empathy.” When I thought about it this way, the sky opened up for me! “Every time we honor our own struggles and the struggles of others by responding with empathy, the health tat results affects us all.” This idea of when we give ourselves empathy, we are feeling these hard things for ourselves, we are then able to better feel and support those around us. The more empathy we give to ourselves, the more empathy we are able to give others.

This perspective has helped me stop comparing my suffering to others. For me, I have been able to slowly retrain my mind. Celebrating my achievements has nothing to do with what those around me have accomplished. Sitting in pain has nothing to do with how those around me are suffering. The better you know yourself, the better you can take care of yourself. Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”

My hope is the more you get to know your inside so intimately, you wont even begin to compare yourself to others’ outsides. It is comparing apples to oranges. I hope you realize what game it is you are playing so that you never even want to keep score with anyone else.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 31: Why You Don’t Need to Make Massive Changes

Episode 30: How to Get Real With Your Expenses

Episode 28: Harness the Power of Your Mind with Mindfulness

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Episode 31: Why You Don't Need to Make Massive Changes

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today’s episode is inspired by a bike ride I took last week and seemed so fitting to share because of where we are in the world today. Long story short, a trip outside to the snow with my daughter evolved into a brisk jog up a main road while she biked alongside me…all because of a few small decisions! The message: Every small decision we make is powerful. Every accomplishment or achievement is a result of a series of smaller choices. As we are in quarantine, we are all feeling different things- grief, fear, anxiety. It doesn’t matter where you are, I ask you to be OK with wherever you are.

What has happened this last month has changed us. It has impacted our habits. It has impacted us emotionally. We need to ask ourselves:

1) What have I learned from this?
2) Where do I want to go from here?

There are some that want to change a lot about themselves and their lives after this quarantine ends. Some, like me, might appreciate the habits and life I lived before. And I look forward to get back to that. Our habits have been disrupted and we need to start turning to make a simple action and I encourage you to START SMALL. Small is powerful. Small will help you accomplish big things.

No small action will make a difference on it’s own. But, it will set you up to take the next small step….and the next step. When we take smalls steps, they are less intimidating. And when they are less intimidating, you are more likely to do it. John Maxwell discusses the power of compounding. He discusses the repetitive nature of small things that eventually lead to a radical change. These changes might happen over years or decades. But pursuing you is not so that you can be better within the next hour or day. It is a process over and over that is so important. It is the constant consistent progress that brings confidence. That brings joy. That inspires us to want to continue that small but mighty progress.

Every day you are compounding. You are making small decisions that are getting you closer to your goals, or small decisions that bring you further away from your goals. Everything out there is either growing or dying- businesses, relationships, and even yourself. Show yourself some grace. Cut yourself some slack. We can have times when we are not growing. But, ask yourself: The majority of your day, “What are your habits leading you towards? Are you compounding towards your goal or away from your goal?” So, I ask: What small thing can you do today to move you closer to growth, closer to your goal. If it intimidates you too much, go smaller! There is no action too small when you have compounding on your side. Every decision you make is powerful.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 30: How to Get Real With Your Expenses

Episode 29: My Top Work-From-Home Hacks

Episode 28: Harness the Power of Your Mind with Mindfulness

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Episode 30: How to Get Real With Your Expenses

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today I am chatting about a very important topic: Expenses. Whether you own a business or manage the business of your home, expenses matter! They are especially important with what we are going through right now! I am sharing my keys on how to get real with your expenses to allow you to survive (and thrive) in this challenging time. Let’s start today! I will discuss:

1. How will I be able to better prepare myself and my family for the future
2. Alleviate an immense amount of pressure I am feeling and
3. Show up on the other side of this stronger and more confident.

[2:59] Don’t stick your head in the sand! Don’t ignore the reality of what is around you. I want to talk about NET, aka what you are bringing home. You have to answer 2 important questions:

1. When you look at how numbers might change, as yourself “how intense do I need to be with my expenses?” For example, real estate is essential and my real estate team can still work (safely!). My daycare, however, we closed down. We did not have families that required child care.
2. Are you in trouble in this moment? Will you be in trouble in 1 month, 3 months or 6 months? I have a month-by-month projection based on what each business’ income will be along with all of the expenses.

[7:02] Follow these six steps:

1. Print our your most recent month’s personal and business bank statements. This includes credit card statements and all of your different banks.
2. Determine what are you spending each month.
3. Disassociate yourself with these accounts. While looking through, you may feel a connection to each expense. This will allow you to have a better picture of categorization.
4. Use each bank statement and separate into one of these 4 categories: Needs (food, shelter, utilities, transportation), Wants (things you acknowledge are not needs), Cuts (things you acknowledge are not necessary), “No Clue” (you have no clue what it is).
5. Start with the CUTS – it is an immediate impact on my expenses and positively impact my business and home life. Each day, go through one account. Create a plan of attack for each cut. Once you figure that out, determine which ones will be the easiest. Tackle those first and have some quick wins.
6. Investigate the “No Clues.” Perhaps it is best for you to focus on 2 of the “no clues” at a time. Turn the “no clue” into a cut, a want or a need.
7. Digging into the wants and determine the level of want: a. Really want, b. Kind of want, or c. It makes me happy but I get that it’s kind of “extra.” This will help you determine what needs to be recategorized to a “cut.” Start with your c’s and work yourself back to a’s.
8. Moving on to the needs! Can you put a pause on any mortgages? What kind of forgiveness are other companies offering? Why not call and see if you can cut costs on utilities? Even though it is a need, don’t brush it off as if there is nothing you can do to help cut costs.
9. Recalibrate! Now that I have cut all these things what is my budget going to look like? What new rules am I putting into my world? What is my new life looking like and what do my new expenses look like. The reality of the situation is, you could cut all of these expenses and its still not enough. But by going through this process, you can determine what steps you need to take.
10. Repeat, repeat, repeat! Right now, I would suggest doing this once per month. Get real with every single expense that is happening.

Remind yourself of the big picture here. This is about how when we are in a recession the way that money is going to show up might be its impact on your mind, your heart and your relationships. We can give our best to our businesses and our families when we have a handle on these things.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 29: My Top Work-From-Home Hacks

Episode 28: Harness the Power of Your Mind with Mindfulness

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Episode 29: My Top Work-From-Home Hacks

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today we are going to talk about work-from-home hacks. I will say, this quarantine life has thrown us for a loop in so many ways but one of the biggest ways (especially for those of us that are used to working outside our home) is being thrown into working from home! As a Realtor, I spent many of my days working from home. I definitely feel I have a lot of experience with this. I want to share some of it with you so you can learn to navigate how to work from home: How to set expectations, design your days and communication with those in your world and become the most efficient and productive. I put these top tops together to make work-at-home work for you!

Before you start assess where you are! Assess your day. See how you are running a standard day. How are you working? When are you doing it? What distractions do you have? What works and what doesn’t work? Have a blank sheet of paper next to you and note your time blocks: Every fifteen, minutes, every thirty minutes, every hour. Maybe it works best for you to do this at the end of every day or every week. Use this assessment period to monitor how you are working currently and where there is room to grow.

[5:08] Hack your rhythms. Are you finding yourself productive first thing in the morning or later in the afternoon? When are you at your best? When are you more tired? Knowing and acknowledging these rhythms will set you up for success. Think outside the box! Don’t feel confined to the typical 9am-5pm work day. Be mindful that we may need to break out day up in the way that best works for you.

[7:47] Hack your environment. Your environment is so important. It is important that we create a work environment, or a bunker as Gary Keller describes it, that is so protected that no one can get in or distract you. For me, this means I am turning off my notifications and closing the door behind me. You start to see things in your environment that are a distraction from what you should be doing. Have an environment that supports your tasks at hand.

Environment Key #1: It is important to consider those around you in these rhythms. If you have family members or little ones around, you may need to adjust YOUR rhythm to align with THEIR rhythms for you to use your time most productively. Communicate clearly so they know how they can best support you.

Environment Key #2: Set up a proper workspace! Find a space where you can close your door. Find a space where there is a focused workspace. This will help those around you better understand when you are working and when you are not. Invest time in making your physical environment work for you because the efficiency and mindset that come from it are so powerful.

[15:54] Hack your habits. When you are assessing your day, what are some habits that you are keeping that don’t serve you in your work-from-home life. You may find new habits that weren’t a challenge for you before. For example, when I work from home, I find myself drinking a ton of water. Maybe it is my love for water or maybe it is an excuse to get up? Either way, it also means that I am visiting the bathroom much more often, which is another distraction! Now that I have noticed this habit, I am more intentional about how much water I drink. Other examples are Facebook, conversations on your phone, laundry, dishes, etc. Assess them now. Ask yourself: Do you need these chores/tasks done? OR is it easier than the work you need to do and you are using it as a distraction? Take note and hold yourself accountable.

[22:58] Time-based success list. Gary Keller discusses how a to-do list is not helpful but instead make a success list! On a to-do list not everything has the same level of importance. The 80/20 rule, a passion of mine, explains how 20% of the activities are responsible for 80% of your results. Those 205 add value to your life and business and real move the needle. The 80% tasks need to get done but are not as impactful. Split your tasks into these two categories: 80% and 20%. The things in the 20% will likely require more focus and will be more negatively impacted by interruptions. When I am building my time-based success list, I know which ones to tackle in certain parts of my day. I plan my 20% tasks during times when my environment is quietest and I know I will be interrupted less.

This is not a perfect science. In my world, I know kids wake early from their naps and people on my team need me at a moment’s notice. So, set yourself up for as much success as possible. If the majority of your tie working from home isn’t working for you, dig deeper on your habits, dig deeper on your environment. Give yourself some grace with kids, with expectations and workloads. The more we can design our days and our weeks successfully, the more easily we will get through this and the more encouraged we will feel along the way.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 28: Harness the Power of Your Mind with Mindfulness

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Episode 26: 5 Steps to Rock Your Morning Routine

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Episode 28: Harness the Power of Your Mind With Mindfulness with Katie Henderson Clark

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

I am so excited to share with you my friend Katie Henderson Clark. I just knew she would bring such value to all of you, especially during all of the new stress in our environment as we are all impacted by this quarantine. I personally know that I work so hard designing my days and weeks so that I am releasing my best self. That is very much shaken up right now. I hope you are ready to release the power of your minds in any situation that we face and especially in the situations and environments we are facing right now…in active quarantine.

Katie introduces herself: She is a licensed psychologist and licensed school psychologist, a wife and mother of 3 children!

[6:30] Katie explains how she differentiates between stillness and mindfulness. Stillness is a part of the process of mindfulness! It is simple but not necessarily easy. She shares John Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness: “A particular way of us paying attention on purpose in the present moment and without judgment.”

[9:40] Katie describes why mindfulness is beneficial. It can improve our physical health and can calm our stress response. During times of heightened stress, like now, when we are experiencing things like disrupted sleep or heightened blood pressure, mindfulness can help with physical health and improve symptoms for anxiety, depression, relationship conflicts, attention, concentration and more!

[14:26] Katie shares a recent story about her own family. In line with the expression “building a plane mid-flight,” she explains how many of us, including her family, recently learned schools are closing and many responsibilities are falling on the parents! With all this news, she explains her “default” as problem-solving mode and she attempted to create a daily academic schedule. The schedule ultimately failed and she was angry for missing expectations. Her daughter asked to “stop and play tea party” and she was reminded the importance of being present. She asked herself, “What do we all need?” She realized she wasn’t allowing her body to feel scared or anxious about all of this. She wasn’t allowing herself to be mindful, grounded and in that moment.

[21:33] What unites us all is the structure of our brain. What is happening on a biological level? For example, fight or flight. We can look at things that are not physically going to harm us but we have started to perceive that it will. Then our stress response goes on overdrive. Our brain is not working the best way it can.

[25:50] What is most fascinating about all of this is that our brains CAN be rewired! We can become more present in our thoughts and feelings through practice. We can train our brains to cope and reframe and create a new pathway. Our reaction to a situation has the power to control the situation itself.

[29:55] Katie explains starting the process. She suggests starting small! Take 5 minutes, find a comfortable, quiet place, and close your eyes. Breath slowly. Inhale for a count of 3. Hold your breath for a count of 2 and exhale for a count of 4. As you do that, do a “body scan,” starting at the top of your head and down to your toes. Notice any areas of tension and examine the thoughts you are having at that moment. As you notice these thoughts, consider “befriending” your mind. What questions would your friend ask you to help you see the reality for what it is? The process is not to absolve us of feelings but to honor our feelings, judgement-free.

[36:27] Mindfulness allows us to feel the full dimensionality of life. Sometimes it is going to be uncomfortable but going through that process will strengthen other areas of life, including awareness, insight and problem solving to name a few.

[38:15] Katie shares some resources for adults and children and how it can benefit families! Encourage yourself and your children to recognize the sights, smells, sounds, etc. She explains a “mindful jar” and how it can help children. Mixing water and glitter in a glass jar can allow them to understand how their thoughts might be feeling. As they watch and give it time, the glitter settles, just like they can.

[42:28] There are countless times when we are removed from being present or being mindful .The key is being able to bring it back. It can be infused in each aspect of the day. Creative projects, walking, cooking, or even just embracing a loved one or pet can help to discover mindfulness.

The benefits of mindfulness are enormous. We are more in control than we think!

Contact:
Katie Henderson Clark
katherinehendersonclark@gmail.com

Suggested Apps:
-Headspace
-Calm
-Smiling Mind (tips for Children)
-Children’s Bedtime Meditations for Sleep
-Go Noodle on YouTube

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Episode 26: 5 Steps to Rock Your Morning Routine

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Episode 21: 5 Things Therapists Wish You Knew

Episode 27: How to Navigate Your Mind and Soul in This Unprecedented Time

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

What a time we are in! I try my hardest to keep my episodes “evergreen,” which means, no matter when you listen to them they are relevant and valuable. And then the Coronavirus entered our world. It is dramatically affecting the way we are living. In Episode 27, I discuss this pandemic and chat about what I am personally going through, in the hopes that you might relate. It may not be “evergreen,” but it applies in any challenging situation. I want to discuss how you might grow from fear to faith; from helpless to empowered. I am taking you along on my journey and discuss what this experience has been like for me.

[3:05] Tip 1: Ask yourself what are you feeling? My husband asked me this and I couldn’t verbalize it. Since I couldn’t vocalize how I was feeling, I chose to write it down in a journal. I challenge you to do the same and to ask yourself: What am I feeling? What am I afraid of? Personally, I decided I was feeling anxious that I was unable to “home school” my children the way others were (all things I noticed by scrolling through social media) and instead had to focus on my 3 businesses! Then I came to the conclusion: Focusing on my businesses is okay in this season of life.

[5:50] Tip 2: What is important to you? My family is and always will be my #1 priority! BUT, business has to take a front seat right now, among this pandemic and strained time in our economy. In Gary Keller’s book The One Thing, he discusses “counterbalance.” You might be trying to be at work and have an awesome life all at the same time. But, there are times you will have to focus a bit more of your time and energy in one of those places and that might be outside of your comfort zone. The key with “counterbalance” is that you never stay in one place too long. Yes, I am saying my family is at the very top of my list at this moment in time, but I am also saying that I am intentional about it, I am making the decision about it, I am aware my business needs it and I am also aware it will not be like this forever.

[9:12] Tip 3: Once you have identified what is important to you, rank your priorities. The reality is you cannot have it all, especially with all that is going on around us! The thing that is MOST important for you to put first is yourself! For example, I have napped twice this week. I never nap! I need to do what my body needs. I encourage you to get enough sleep, go outside for a walk, meditate. Do what you have to do to be working as close to 100% as you can.

[10:37] Tip 4: Find one thing per day you can focus on. [Side note: I discuss the important of paying attention to your budget. Get rid of things expenses are not important.] For me, one of my priorities was to get clear on my expenses! Going for a run or doing crafts with my kids are two more examples. I can then add a second thing to focus on. And, now, today I have 4 things on my plate! It is important to embrace these small wins and not to put too much on yourself!

[13:50] Tip 5: Find opportunities to be grateful! Find gratitude in a home, healthy family members, amazing people working so hard caring for us to end this epidemic, for the leadership making really hard decisions. I am personally very grateful for the people that I have chosen to surround myself with. Build that 5-minute practice in to your daily routine!

Using these 5 tips, you can go from fear to faith, from being nervous to being empowered. Lean on one another; we will get through this together!

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 26: 5 Steps to Rock Your Morning Routine

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Episode 21: 5 Things Therapists Wish You Knew

Episode 26: 5 Steps to Rock Your Morning Routine

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

On Episode 26 I discuss 5 Ways to Rock Your Morning Routine! I suggest you listen to Episode 24 “How To Rock Your Nighttime Routine” before listening to this! I have been practicing better sleep habits for some time now and have been prioritizing sleep. I never realized the impact not getting enough sleep was impacting my body. The way I was interacting with my husband and my kids.

[5:15] I discuss what a “sleep number” is, how to identify it and explain how my number is 8. I need 8 hours of sleep per night in order to show up how I want to each day for myself, my friends my family.

[7:00] #1 I explain how to identify your sleep number. Find 3 or 4 weeks where you can do a test run to determine the number of hours that work best for you. I explain how you cannot judge how tired you are feeling by how you feel when the alarm rings in the morning. The best indicator is how you feel at 3pm or at 5pm. Children are a great litmus test to tell you how you are feeling. Let someone in to help you determine this, a spouse or a friend!

[13:48] #2 Rock your evening routine! Listen to Episode 24.

[16:17] #3 Set a meaningful alarm! This one gas changed my world! Know when you need to fall asleep so that you can get your “sleep number” in. Then set that meaningful alarm. Your alarm means you have given your body what it means and it is time to wake up.

[20:19] #4 Wake up when you say you will! One way I am able to wake up when I say I am going to is “efficiency.” I want to maximize my time and energy. If I know I got my 8 hours in, I can tell my body I am not tired and it has everything it needs to get up!

How you start your day will flow into how you behave the res of the day. Keep that promise to yourself. It is a big deal to be doing that!

[24:47] #5 Make a plan you look forward to! This “plan” is what people are talking about when they discuss morning routines. I have tried them all! Find that something you look forward to. Maybe not the activity in and of itself, but the reward that comes from that activity. For me, in the spring/summer/fall, it is a run with fresh air and a podcast. Scheduling, planning and time blocking help with this, too.

I hope you use these 5 steps to create a customized-to-you plan! Set yourself up for success and start your day off right!

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Episode 18: Organizing on the Go

Episode 12: Shifting Your Perspective on Sleep

Episode 25: What to Do When You're No Longer Motivated by "Money"

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

On Episode 25 I discuss a topic may be something some of you are experiencing! “What To Do When You Are No Longer Motivated By “Money.” Notice “money” is in quotes because I want to use it as a placeholder. “Money” is basically whatever has motivated you in the past but it is now "empty." You could be motivated by fame or fear of failure, for example. However, there can come a point when your motivation can shift from a healthy motivation to something empty. Today I want to discuss what you can do if you are lacking motivation or no longer motivated by “money.”

[3:05] I take you don’t my journey with motivation and how it has changed over the years with the ups and downs of business and life. I share how I was broke when I was 22 and just starting out in real estate. Money was my motivation! I needed this money to buy food, gas and turn the heat on; all basic necessities. While I was never miserable being broke, I longed for the time I could simply buy a client a muffin at a meeting. My discipline and drive led to a point where I was no longer broke. I began to learn my “money” had shifted and my motivation was now achievement. I needed to be viewed as one of the top realtors in the area.

[5:23] I received an award for top realtors in the area, what I had visualized since I began! I get the award, I am so excited, I am thrilled! I sat back down and realized nothing had changed. But, in actuality, EVERYTHING changed. This was the final straw that broke the camels back. I had “enough money” and “enough achievement and success” but what is there to motivate me now?!

[8:04] I discuss how I lost touch with a team feeling that I had known so well through my time as an athlete while working alone as a Realtor. That set the foundation for my motivation by “achievement” that soon became empty. I felt empty inside, too.

[11:06] I share how it is so easy to think you have lost everything because you have lost you PASSION. Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. Niequist describes how once she loses the anxiety and fear of being perfet/her need to accomplish, she felt she didn’t have anything driving her anymore. She started to use her body and love as the driving force. If it meant it took her an extra year to finish her next book because she was moving slowly, that was OK. It meant she was in tune with her body and her family’s needs. That is what life is all about.

[16:45] I discuss how right now I am motivated by being who I want to be every single day. The progress that I see myself making when I operate my life from a place of love and patience (as opposed to coming from a place of anxiety and reactivity) allows me to accomplish so much more. This has taken me a lot of time to come to terms with! I have to reframe the desire to be like someone else and remember what life is really about. If you are feeling this way and finding yourself comparing, look up (to God, the universe, etc) and look inside yourself to determine what you are being called to do and how you want to show up. Let that be the foundation for your motivation.

[19:21] Look around you! What things, people, etc. are in need! Can I create an opportunity to bless something or someone else? How can I do that? Zig Ziglar said “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Start volunteering! Find cause that are in need and don’t have the money to serve.

If you are going through this feeling, like you have lost your motivation, challenge yourself to live a more meaningful life with your thoughts, your prayers, your finances and how you spend your time. See this as a blessing. Even though it is hard, I hope it strengthens your perspective. Life is not a sprint, a marathon or a race!

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 19: Facing Rejection Therapy

Episode 23: Using the Enneagram to Connect

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Episode 24: 5 Steps to Rock Your Nighttime Routine

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today’s episode is inspired by Mother Nature/Daylight Savings Time! This past year, especially, I have been so in tune with how daylight affects my nighttime routine. So many people talk about waking up SO early to get everything done! That never worked for me. I would wake up exhausted and, by the end of the day was beat! This year, I had the simplest revelation: a smart nighttime routine! You can’t have a strong morning routine until you have a strong nighttime routine! I know we all have a different “number” but mine is 8! I require 8 hours of sleep per night to show up at 100% for me and my family. I encourage you to figure out your “number!” I then started to develop some routines around my wake and my sleep schedule. I learned what is best for me is to go to bed by 10pm and up by 6am! Since my kids get up at 7am, a 6am wake up gives me an hour to get myself organized and focused before my kids get up! It also gives my husband and me a bit of time to spend together after our kids go to bed!

But, as the winter months crept in and the mornings grew colder and darker, I noticed myself wanting to sleep in! So, I thought to myself, “What if I added value on the back end. What if I started to be more purposeful about my evening routine in the same way I was being more purposeful about my morning routine?” (AKA surviving winter in Upstate New York!)

I am sharing 5 steps that helped me make my nighttime routine the best thing for me! So even if my morning routine hasn’t been great, I am setting myself up for a great next day!

[12:24] I discuss #1: Close out your work properly. At the end of the day, spend some time (at least 5 minutes) before you leave work and review your day! What did you do well? What took you off course? Review your from priorities that day and if you accomplished them. Look at your agenda for the next day, look at your priorities and determine what needs to get done tomorrow! You are already in work mode, so take advantage!

[14:19] I discuss #2: Transition time. Build in that time period between work and when you go home! Identify what you need to do to reset in order to prepare you for the rest of the night. For example, a drive in your car, prayer/meditation, or running an errand. It can be as simple as changing your clothes! The key is getting out of that work mindset and checking back in with yourself.

[16:08] I discuss #3: Connection time. If you are living with family, this is your time to be there! You can maximize this connection time by minimizing your distractions. Screen time is the biggest challenge for many of us! Set goals for yourself with screen time. Also, don’t be afraid of white space during connection time. Be present! If you feel your mind wandering, work to be there. It is a muscle you can strengthen with practice!

[18:17] I discuss #4: Prepare for tomorrow. When I say that, I mean “What are you going to wear tomorrow?” “What is your breakfast tomorrow morning going to look like?” “What does your lunch look like tomorrow?” “Are you going to workout tomorrow? Do you need an extra set of clothes?” All of these things ease the decision-making that you typically have in the morning. We can do these simple things in the evening to save us extra valuable time in the morning.

[22:17] I discuss #5: Decompression. In order for me to get to bed by 10pm, I need to be in bed by 9:30pm. I needed to prepare for sleep! For me, it is reading a book. Putting on pajamas is another example. It signifies to your body that something else is happening. SOCIAL MEDIA can be a huge challenge. I have to leave my phone in a drawer to avoid this distraction because it does not help me decompress. And I doubt it helps you! Social media is not the best of decompression!

Doing these 5 things can set you up for amazing success the following morning! The second you start to be purposeful with your time and listen to your body, your evenings and your mornings can begin to feel more balanced. When I had more confidence in my routine, I wasn’t seeking the answer in my phone in my email or social media!

These steps have helped me because

1. It is easier for me to fall asleep.

2. I can save my brain space for more important decisions (my 20%).

3. My productivity at work skyrockets.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 7: Screen Time Hacks

Episode 12: Shifting Your Perspective on Sleep

Episode 21: 5 Things Therapists Wish You Knew

Episode 23: Using The Enneagram To Connect with Claire Ficker

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today I am talking with a special guest, Claire Ficker to discuss the Enneagram! The enneagram is a personality assessment. You may remember when I brought my husband on the podcast to discuss the DISC assessment on Episode 11. This is totally different, but equally as amazing. I am so passionate about connection and the enneagram is a wonderful way to learn more about yourself, more about others and to better connect with those around you.

[3:00] Claire discusses her journey with the enneagram. She is a licensed professional counselor and, during her journey through getting her certification, she was introduced to the enneagram. She gives this test to all of her patients.

[4:19] Claire discusses the basics of the enneagram. There is a flow to each of the 9 numbers and each number represents a different personality type.

[5:38] Claire explains how you and determine what number you are. There are many online tests but she suggested a few books that both explain the enneagram and have the test as well:

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso

The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut

The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Andreas Ebert and Richard Rohr

Claire explains how there is a spiritual connection and how the enneagram pre-dates Christ. The enneagram is an oral tradition best understood by talking about it, so Claire encourages us to read many different perspectives about it.

 [7:30] Claire explains how she doesn’t like to reduce us to numbers and uses her own number as an example to help us understand how the enneagram moves and flows in times of stress and in times of help.

[11:44] Claire discusses the best thing about deep, intimate relationships is the freedom to challenge one another. You get to know idiosyncrasies of one another and learn to highlight them. We cannot assume that other people “just know” because we do. This is especially important in marriages. Each number has a passion or a sin that gets in the way. [Sin, an archery term is the degree to which you miss the bullseye. When discussing the enneagram, the degree to which you sin is an ego or defense mechanism; what gets in the way or trips us up.] She explains each one.

1. The Reformers deepest need is to be seen as good. They see the world as very black and white and, in their opinion, see right and wrong clearly. Their sin is anger. If they see something that is wrong, social justice, for example, they challenge that and do something about it.

2. The Helpers deepest need is to be loved for who they are. Their sin is pride. They don’t know how to ask for help but, instead, take pride in knowing what other people need.

3. The Achiever wants to be successful and to be seen positively. “They want to win and they want to look good doing it.” The sin of the achiever is deceit.

4. The Individualist wants to be seen as uniquely special. Their sin is envy. They see everyone else out there as unique and special and don’t feel they measure up. They are the most common number on the enneagram. Their highs are high and their lows are low.

5. The Investigators deepest need is to understand. Their sin is avarice. They do not want tangible things but, instead have a strong need to have information.

6. The Loyalist needs to feel secure and their sin is fear. They tend to lean into something other than themselves to give them that sense of security, such as religion. Most people are sixes.

7. The Enthusists deepest need is to avoid pain. They see the glass 7/8 full all of the time. The enthusiasts sin is gluttony. Sevens needs to learn to stop and sit in the pain and deal with it instead of running from it.

8. The Challengers deepest need is to be in control of themselves. They do not want anyone else to try to control them. Their sin is lust, or an “act first, think later” mentality.

9. The Peacemakers deepest need is to avoid conflict. The nine has the hardest time figuring out their number. They become all things to all people to keep the peace. The sin is the sloth. They can look lazy as they are attempting to keep the peace.

[21:36] The lines on the enneagram refer to how a number responds in stress and in health. In stress we move one direction and in health we move to another. In, stress 1 goes to 4 goes to 2 goes to 8 goes to 5 goes to 7 goes to 1 and in health they go the other direction. In the middle triangle, 3 goes to 6 goes to 9.They re

Claire also noted that the nine Enneagram types are grouped into three centers: Body (Instinctive/Gut/Belly), Heart (Feeling), and Head (Thinking). There are three Enneagram types in each centers. Numbers 2,3 and 4 fall into Heart, 4,5 and 7 fall into Head and 8,9 and 11 fall into Gut.

[28:00] Everyone is unique and everyone has their blind spots. In marriages, the enneagram should be used not to judge but to build curiosity about how one’s number (both needs and sins) can impact their relationships

[34:03] Claire discusses enneagram wings. A wing is a number on either side of yours. For example, a 2 can have a 1 wing or a 3 wing. Wings can also change over time. Claire explained how the first half of her life, her 1 wing flapped more strongly and now she is noticing more of a connection with her 3 wing.

Before signing off, Claire noted that Suzanna Stabile’s book The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships can help focus is a wonderful tool in learning more about the relational aspect of the enneagram.

The enneagram is a powerful tool. I just love the way it allows us to connect to one another deeper! I encourage you to learn more about the enneagram to gain an understanding about what number you may connect with and, in turn, strengthen your relationship with yourself and those around you!

CONNECT WITH CLAIRE FICKER

Christian Psychotherapy Services

SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

MORE EPISODES YOU’D BE INTERESTED IN

Episode 11 – The DISC Assessment

Episode 22: Are You An "Accidental Diminsher" Leader?

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

This is Episode 22 and in this episode we are talking about leadership! You might say, “I am not a leader!” John Maxwell says “Leadership is influence.” Whether you stay at home or you run a crazy big business or maybe  you just have friends…you have influence! You are a leader! One of my favorite concepts I have read about in the past few years is from an incredible book called Multiplier by Liz Wiseman. It is a Wall Street Journal best-seller. The subtitle reads, “How the best leaders make everyone smarter.”

The book is over 300 pages long and the audible is over 11 hours long! But, It is a labor of love! Today I am going to share some of my favorite nuggets from this book! Hopefully you will be inspired to learn more about author, buy the book for yourself and perhaps allow yourself to go deeper with some of the incredible concepts. My hope is that this episode and the concepts I outline from Liz Wiseman book inspire you to become the best leader you can so the people around you can reach their potential!

[5:40] I explain “The Idea Guy” – A visionary! The intention is to share new ideas and to stimulate others to have new ideas, too. What actually happens? All of the new ideas over and over leads to overwhelm and a team of people chasing all of these new ideas! The workaround? Create a holding tank! This is a “white space” document that a visionary can write out their ideas and thoughts! So, when you get a new idea, stop and assess the people in your world. What are their priorities? Will you be adding value? OR are you disrupting priorities and flow? If so, put it into a holding tank!

[11:18] I explain the “Always On” – The intention of this leader is to create infections energy and share their great point of view! When a leader is “always on” she might become white noise to her team! It limits the thought power of her team and not giving them a safe place to speak up and share their brilliance. The workaround? Do more listening! Ask more questions! Say something only once and create a reason for others to chime in and VALUE their input!

[13:22] I explain the “Rescuer” – A leader rescues team members to avoid the team’s failure or to save the team’s reputation and it can accidentally diminish the potential of the organization! I explained an example Liz gave of a trip to the beach with her son. He continued to get too close to the water and she continued to “rescue him.” She finally let him experience a “medium sized wave” – he got knocked down but he learned! I explained how I began to see “medium sized waves” as a positive and how I learned to make space for mistakes on my team and see them as an opportunity. The workaround? Make space for mistakes!

[16:20] I explain the “Pace Setter” – We as leaders want to move quickly! And, that quick pace can encourage others to keep that pace too! When leaders set the pace they are more likely to create spectators than followers. The workaround for the pace setter is to be sure you are never getting too far out in front of your team. Stay in sight.

[17:45] I explain the “Rapid Responder” – This is the person who is quick to take action in an attempt to keep the organization moving quickly…they are “on it!” These leaders are not giving the people they are leading the time to respond. The workaround for the rapid responder is to wait 24 hours before replying (or a timeframe that works best for your team) gives them the time to create ownership!

[19:27] I explain the “Optimist” – Optimists are leaders with extremely lofty goals or who are so positive they are not seen as real or authentic! They are not appreciating the work/challenges it takes to reach a goal! The workaround is to show up as real highlighting the positives but not forgetting about the challenges.

[19:30] I explain the “Protector” – I explain how I compare this to “lawn mower parents,” a parent that goes through life mowing a clear and safe space for their children so they do not experience challenge. The protector protects their team from big problems and challenges. These leaders produce dependent followers because they are not seeing the reality of the challenges at hand. The workaround here is to be open with your team, explain the reality of each situation. Challenge them with that so they can grow.

[22:11] I explain the “Strategist” – This type of leader always does the thinking, which takes away from others on the team doing their own thinking. When I as a leader get excited about new ideas and doing all the thinking, team members are not going to do their own thinking because what’s the point?! The workaround is to create a problem and give your team the framework and then shut up! Challenge yourself as a leader to talk less.

[23:55] I explain the “Perfectionist” – I explained that this is one of the hardest for me as well as an example of how this affected my very own team! A leader’s need for perfection can halt work efficiency and take time away from team members. It also has the potential to make team members feel criticized and disheartened. It affects culture and team morale, which in turn affects production, which in turn impacts the service a team can provide its clients. The workaround here is to define “how to win with me” as a leader. I call mine “Mandy’s Mantras.” These are certain standards that I lay out on the front-end so my team can self-assess without my constant help/review.

Remember, leadership is influence! YOU ARE A LEADER! Think about how you might be accidentally diminishing someone in your world! I know I felt exposed but it helped me grow! All of these tendencies come from great intentions but can backfire. Analyze what ways your influence on others might be accidentally diminishing them! But also, think about it as a follower! We are all leaders BUT we are also all followers! Think about it from the perspective of someone who is leading your team and leading you. What if is someone who is influencing YOU is feeling the same way you might be right now? They have the best of intentions but you might be feeling diminished. The solution? Start with grace with the leaders you are following. Also, make a game plan. Have a conversation with your leadership. Share the podcast and Multipliers book with them. And, most importantly, communicate with them! It will help you learn more about yourself and those around you!

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 20: 3 Ways to Use Video in Your Business

Episode 18: Organization on the Go

Episode 15: My Top 5 Business Reads in 2019

Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Episode 21: 5 Things Therapists Wish You Knew

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

I just got done recording this episode with Maryellen Dance, a licensed mental health counselor that I met years ago. We just recently reconnected in a local mastermind group and I just knew she was someone I wanted to bring on and share with you all. You’ve all heard me talk about therapy and what an important role it plays in my life, my development, my growth, my relationships and its funny because with me being so open about it, I really have seen how many preconceived notions we carry around about what it means to go to therapy, what qualifies us to have to go to therapy, etc, etc, -- so get excited, because this episode is jam packed full of good tidbits about what therapists wish you knew about therapy and how it might change your perception of who therapy is for, and how to go about getting started.

[1:20] Maryellen introduces herself and shares her story about where she was before she was a therapist, how she discovered she wanted to be a licensed mental health counselor and her journey in her career to where she is now.

[5:55] 1. Maryellen and I talk about the fact that therapy is for everyone. This might be the biggest misconception about therapy, that the only people who need therapy are people with serious mental health disorders and people who are currently in a state of crisis. However, Maryellen and I talk about how just how we maintain our wellness when we aren’t sick or our fitness when we aren’t overweight, it’s good for us to maintain our health, through therapy, even when we aren’t in a state of crisis.

[10:00] 2. We discuss the stigma that therapy is given due to Hollywood’s portrayal of it. Therapists want you to know that it’s not a cold process with an old man sitting behind you while you lay on a chaise lounge and just list all of your problems. For Maryellen and many other therapists, they start off with their clients by introducing themselves and helping them to feel comfortable and connected with their therapist.

[15:30] 3. Therapists want you to know that it really is up to you how often you attend therapy and that it can be variable depending on seasons of life. Sometimes during crisis, you may attend therapy weekly, and during times of maintenance, you may only choose to go once a month or even less frequently.

[17:30] 4. Maryellen stresses the importance of finding the right counselor for you. She also encourages us to keep looking for the right therapist even if the first or second one isn’t right for you. It’s worth it to find the person that you feel comfortable with. We also take a look at what you should look for in a therapist’s qualifications and where you can go to begin finding a therapist.

[21:00] I take us on a sidetrack to discuss virtual therapy, what it is, and why it might be helpful for certain people.

[23:30] 5. Therapists are real people. They aren’t perfect and they don’t want you to think they are. While it isn’t appropriate for them to disclose themselves to you, they do want you to understand their personalities and who they are enough that you are comfortable with them and that you understand they are people with problems, just like you.

[26:00] 6. We have a bonus point that is the fact that your therapist isn’t judging you. They have a desire to help you and they have seen all sorts of different situations. They are not sitting there judging you, and they want you to feel free to ask them for help, no matter what.

I hope you enjoyed this episode with Maryellen Dance, and I hope that we’ve been able to help you see therapy in a new light and given you some things to think about as you consider pursuing therapy in whatever capacity might be right for you right now. Be sure to connect with Maryellen on her social media channels or reach out to her via email if you have any questions.

Connect with Maryellen Dance

Email: maryellendance@gmail.com

Instagram: @maryellendance

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 19: Facing Rejection Therapy

Episode 17: The Power of Margin

Episode 8: Pursue You Picks: Do Less

Episode 4: The Antidote to FOMO

Episode 20: 3 Ways to Use Video in Your Business

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today we’re talking about video. If you’ve been in a business or you’ve had some big growth, even if it’s just been a little while, it’s always so fascinating to go back and look on what you were doing years ago. Whether it be 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even last month, what did your days consist of? What were your priorities and your habits? How did you run your life and business together? One of the things I look back on so often is the early days of my real estate career. I was 22 years old. I had moved out of my parents’ house and joined a real estate brokerage and was clueless about it. One thing though I am so proud of, thought, is that early on in my business I started to incorporate video into my branding, my marketing, my service to clients, and it has always been a big part of my business. Over the years, it’s morphed. Whether it be from the business growing, myself growing, or just technology and the change in modern marketing, but I feel like it’s had a dramatic impact on my business and that’s why I want to share it with you today. I want to show you how you might be able to incorporate it into your world and business.

[2:34] I share first the three ways that I’m going to suggest you start using video in your business. The first way that we are using video is in branding and general marketing. The second is how to use it for lead generation and the third is as a service.

[2:50] I start off talking about branding and where I’ve used video for branding in the past and how you can incorporate it. I share a little bit about my story starting out in my real estate career and how being broke and clueless led me to my video brand strategy.

[7:30] I talk about what this video branding looked like for me 10 years ago. I wanted to share this part of my story with you so that you know that your videos don’t have to be anything fancy or hi-tech. You just need to start doing it. Find the value that you can offer your clients and start sharing it.

[12:10] I share how my videos caused people to see me as an expert in real estate, and that is how I ended up branding myself despite the challenge of my youth and inexperience early on in my career.

[23:30] Moving on to how to use video for lead generation and bringing in new clients, I share how you could use it in real estate to set yourself apart from all of the other agents responding to inquiries, as well as ways other business owners can use video to make a deeper, more personal connection.

[27:25] – I share ideas on how to incorporate video into the service you’re providing. I share a little about how we use it in our real estate team and how my husband uses it in his chiropractic business, as well as other ways you can use it no matter what sort of business you’re running.

Have I given you enough ideas? These are just a few tips that can help get you started using video in your business. Whether it be through branding, lead generation, or enhancing your service, there are so many different ways that can be unique to you. It is all about building that know, like, and trust factor. It is all about getting reach to new people and hitting your audience with content that is adding value to their worlds. If you want, you can subscribe to our Friend Team mailing list and visit our website, check out the Friend Team Real Estate page on Facebook and see how we are using it in our business. We’ve got more things in the works! I encourage you to think outside the box and see the incredible potential to accelerate building your know, like and trust factor through getting your good lookin’ self on the camera!

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 19: Facing Rejection Therapy

Episode 18: Organizing on the Go

Episode 17: The Power of Margin

Episode 19: Facing Rejection Therapy

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

In Episode 15, I shared about asking for what you want. I went through the simple steps of understanding why it’s important to you, getting clear on what it is you want and then making a plan to just ASK for it. But, in our conversations, and from what I know to be true in my own life, there’s this extra LITTLE piece that presents a huge challenge to us. We can literally do everything right, we know exactly what it is we want to ask for, why it’s just so, so important to us, but sometimes, our fear of what the reaction will be on the other side, paralyzes us. Today I want to share some advice I’ve learned about how we can help ourselves overcome this fear of rejection and it’s in the form of a little game called rejection therapy.

[2:00] – I share a story about Jia Jiang’s speech at the Global Leadership Summit detailing his 100 days of rejection projects that started from Jason Cromley’s rejection therapy game. Jai’s plan was to spend 100 days getting rejected for something each day and videotaping it to learn more about how to handle rejection.  

[5:15] – I talk about how sometimes rejection opportunities highlight the fact that we aren’t always afraid to ask a specific question, it’s more the fear of just being told no for any reason.

[8:55] – I share about Jai’s experience asking a stranger for $100 and he realized that any time he faced rejection, he just ran. What are the places that you fear rejection, and keep you from engaging, or when you finally do, do you just accept the no and run away?

[12:00] – I point out that often we are afraid of putting people out with our questions without thinking about the fact that other people are actually looking for a way that they can bless someone else.

[15:30] I challenge you to think about how your response to rejection is impacting your life.

Episode 15 lays the foundation for how to ask for what you want, but I hope understanding the fear of rejection and how this idea of rejection therapy can help with that final step of asking AND staying engaged. By not being afraid to ask and staying engaged you can generate a YES in response OR turn an initial no into a yes. Find your next failure, find your next rejection...every time you do you’re getting yourself closer to your next YES and helping you pursue you in the process.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 16: Ask for What You Want

Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Episode 18: Organizing on the Go

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

Today’s episode was inspired by one of our listeners, Bethany. Bethany and I were talking about organizing our thoughts as we were listening to podcasts and audio books and I started to share with her some quick tips of how I organize on the go and she was like MANDY, THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR! So, maybe you’re the same? You’re starting to do more ‘thinking’, maybe more reading, or consuming of content, but feel like it goes all over the place. Maybe you feel anxious about to do lists and are worried that you’re going to forget something because it’s written all over the place. Well this episode is for YOU. Like I always say, this isn’t an episode on the BEST way to do something, it’s all about what I’m doing and what works for me, but I share it to hopefully inspire you to figure out your best way. So, here’s how I’m organizing on the go, as of January 2020. I hope you’ll listen in, find your system and come join us in the Pursuers Community and share what challenges you have, what successes you’re finding, and all that good stuff!

[3:35] To start out I share my general organizing tendencies which includes paper planning and digital planning. I give a little insight into why I still use a paper planner, and share about my current favorite, the Law of Attraction Planner.

[7:00] I share my WHY behind organization and it’s all about creating the ability to be present where I’m at, while also making sure I don’t forget the lists and lists of things I need to do for my life and business. I share how I do this practically, without losing myself in lists and forgetting “where” I’m supposed to be.

[11:35] I go deeper into how I use Google Tasks to organize my business. Hint: it’s all about lists within lists within lists. I share some of my specific lists and how I organize specific tasks within each list. I also share how I stay organized between Google Tasks and my paper planner.

[15:15] I switch gears in Google Tasks and talk about how I use it in my personal life and explain how it’s more priority oriented, but still helps me to make sure I don’t forget anything.

[17:15] I give you examples of other types of lists I make including book lists, podcast lists, and a list for all my thoughts I have throughout the day that gets put into my digital filing system.

[21:30] The second app I share with you for organizing on the go is Google Forms. I share both how I use it personally as a way to create a daily journal prompt for myself, but also how my team has integrated it into our daily systems for organization.

[32:15] The final tip I share is on how to transfer time blocking from a paper planner into your Google Calendar that can also be synced with Google tasks. This is extremely helpful for more time sensitive or scheduled tasks.

So those are my tips and mindset around organizing when you’re on the go from Google Tasks, to my paper planner, my journal, Google Forms, etc. Each of these are simple things I’ve integrated that have really made a difference in my world that maybe you can incorporate or use to start to make a system that works for YOU. All of our brains work differently so you don’t have to organize like me, but hopeful you’ll find something that works for you, and hopefully you’ll love how you’re feeling when you’re organized so that you’ll want to dig even deeper into how to continue to organize all different facets of your life. If you listened to the last episode, Episode 17 on creating more margin in your life, you’ll know that I encourage you to get organized not because I want you to get more done, but so that your brain can feel clearer, so that you can show up better and more present in all that you do because that’s how you’re going to experience more which is what I believe life is all about.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 17: The Power of Margin

Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Episode 12: Shifting Your Perspective on Sleep

Episode 17: The Power of Margin

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

If you’ve heard me speak, you know that I LOVE being busy. I love activities, productivity, and efficiency. After four years of pregnancy and nursing babies, I was so excited for 2019 to ‘max out’ my life and jam pack as much possible into my life. And you don’t have to have had a human to have gone through this experience, it could have been from a sickness, challenging family situation, etc. but you might be able to relate to when you literally, physically cannot ‘max out’ your life the way that you think you have to in order to succeed. I knew that margin wasn’t a luxury, and I knew that it was a necessity, but I had no idea how to implement it in my life. I didn’t know how to go from my life of exhaustion, chaos, and a mindset of I have to be working, to having margin and rest. Learning this and creating this margin wasn’t easy for me, it was a process and a journey, but I’m going to share with you some questions to help you reflect on your current life so that you can design a life of margin in 2020.

[6:50] Question 1: What would your life have to look like so that you never felt like you needed a vacation? I challenge you to think on how your life would need to be designed so that when you had a scheduled vacation or self-care activity, you actually looked forward to it and were happy during the time leading up to it, rather than desperate and miserable. I encourage you to go back and listen to Episode 2, all about self-care for a refresher on what self-care really should be.

[17:25] Question 2: Where am I not being intentional about my time? I challenge you to get your planner, paper or digital, and time block every hour of your week. Include everything, even sleep. Then go back and see where you have empty time slots and areas where you aren’t being fully intentional with your time or wasting time you could be doing something more refreshing or productive.

[21:00] Question 3: What are you filling your margin time with? Once you’ve found even 10 minutes of margin in your day, how are you using that ten minutes? Are you wasting it on social media, or are you using it to rest, or to be with your kids, or to read a few more pages of that book you want to finish this month? Check your margin to make sure you’re filling it with things that are rejuvenating you.

I went from ZERO margin to being able to logistically create margin. I’ve been able to be absolutely okay with that margin in my soul, and I’ve grown from spending time reading and consuming amazing content instead of wasting time scrolling social media. I’ve been able to be more present with my family because I’m not running ragged and showing up every day being exhausted. Margin isn’t a luxury in our schedule, it’s a necessity. When we have margin and utilize it in a way that refills our bodies and souls, we have more to give! So, pursue margin, so that you pursue you, so that you can give the gift of your best self to your family, your community and your business.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you rerame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 2: Why Self-Care is NOT the Answer…and What Is

Episode 3: 3 Reasons You’re Not Making Your First Hire

Episode 14: My Top 5 Personal Reads in 2019

Episode 15: My Top 5 Business Reads in 2019

Episode 16: Ask for What You Want

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

I am starting today’s episode with a story about my daughter, and I hope that this story about her inspires you to not be afraid to use your own voice in your family, in your job, or anywhere else that you find yourself wanting to ask something of someone else. I want us to not be afraid to ask for what we want. Sometimes it takes us awhile to figure out what we want, but when we do, what do we do with it? What do you do when you’re wanting a promotion or a raise, or when you need something from your clients or your spouse? What do you do when you want something from your friends? Once we identify what we want, how do we get closer to getting it or making that happen? In today’s episode, I’m sharing six steps for asking for what you want.

[00:00] I start off sharing a story about me watching my daughter use her own voice to ask for what she wanted when we were away on a girl’s trip, and how I am so proud of the fact that she can speak for herself, and how it’s inspired me to make sure I take my own advice and share this advice with you to use your voice to ask for what you want.

[4:30] Step 1 – Understand that people aren’t mind readers – I want you to know how important it is that we don’t assume people know what we want. Often, we end up assuming that people know what we want, and it sends us into attack mode or angry towards them for not giving it to us. Reality is, people typically don’t have any idea what we want and it’s not even on their radar unless we bring it up.

[6:30] Step 2 – Reflect & understand WHY this “ask” is so important – What will asking this question do for you? What is your end goal and why is it so important? Go beyond the surface. The answer you think it is might not even be your real why. I go deeper into this with a personal story about a question I had to ask my husband and how I couldn’t ask him for anything until I really understood WHY I needed to ask the question.

[15:10] Step 3 – Be clear on what you’re asking for – I share another, more humorous, story about a time I asked my husband for something and how it explains why we need to be extra clear about what we are asking for. Learn how defining terms like “Low quality eggs” or “high quality eggs” can help set up clear expectations on what you want and what you don’t want.

[21:00] Step 4 – Analyze the big picture – It’s important for us to think about how this “ask” is going to affect the people around us. Sometimes these questions will impact others in big ways, emotionally, financially, or with their time. Considering this may modify your ask or it might not, but its’ important that when you do finally ask that you’ve already considered the ramifications it will have on others.

[25:15] Step 5 – Plan and share your ask – Plan out exactly how you’re going to ask and when you’re going to do it. Share your plan with someone that can hold you accountable so that you see it through.

[27:05] Step 6 – JUST ASK IT – I know you’ll find yourself hesitating, so I want you to go back to step 2 and remind yourself why it’s so important that you ask for this. Ask yourself what it will be like if you don’t ask? What’s the worst that could happen if you do ask? Use these counseling questions to remind yourself and inspire you to JUST FREAKING ASK!

So, I ask this of you, what is that fierce conversation you need to have? What is an area where you’re feeling like you could use some help in, what is something you want to ASK for? Go through these steps, and channel your inner 4 year old Aliana Grace, look at what you’ve been given, peer inside that bowl of possibilities to see if there’s something in there that’s worth the ask, and yes, you might have your moment of doubt just like she did, but know that I’m here with the ‘you can do it’ smile encouraging you to go out there, and ask for what YOU want because you deserve it.

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you re-frame the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Episode 10: The Pruning Challenge

Episode 6: Good Enough to Move On

Episode 4: The Antidote to FOMO

Episode 15: My Top 5 Business Reads in 2019

Welcome to the Pursue You Podcast, where we are empowering you to continually reflect, design and pursue who you were created to be so you can give the gift of your best self to your family, community, and business!

In Episode 14 last week I shared my top 5 personal reads of 2019 as well as my history with reading and how it’s been a journey for me to become a “reader”. Today I’m re-enforcing the important things to consider as you start or continue on your reading journey, and also sharing with you the top 5 business books I read as a part of my goal to pursue growth in my business. I hope this list will help you tune into the conversations these books and their authors are starting and maybe add a few of them to your own reading list for this year.

12:05 Book 1: Developing the Leader Within You 2.0 by John Maxwell – This book is a great Audible listen for those of you that prefer audio books. It’s an update from the first edition, but even the author considers it more of a re-write. The big takeaways for me were how to understand your priorities and determine the difference between something that’s good to be doing and what’s best to be doing, and also how to see failure as a constant companion to success.

20:00 Book 2: Leader Shift by John Maxwell – This book is another favorite from John Maxwell if you’re looking for a book on how to grow as a leader. My favorite shifts he discusses were shifting from pleasing people to challenging people and how to shift from maintaining to creating.

24:40 Book 3: Clockwork: Design Your Business to Run Itself by Mike Michalowicz – This book was recommended to me by Jaclyn Mellone of the Go-To-Gal Podcast. This book is perfect if you have a goal to organize and streamline your business this year. The author writes all about how to create systems to automate your business and get it to run like clockwork without you having to be the driving force behind it.  

29:30 Book 4: Powerful: Building a Culture of Freedom and Responsibility by Patty McCord – This book came as a recommendation from Amy Porterfield. It’s a book she uses anytime they on-board a new team member and it’s all about creating a culture of freedom and responsibility among your team. Two key points for me were focusing on honest, timely feedback with employees and making sure that the visions and ideas of all team members are being communicated openly and consistently.

34:15 Book 5: Rocket Fuel by Gino Wickman – This is a great book for any of you that feel you need a better understanding of your team members or what team member you might be missing. The author says that there are two types of people – visionaries and integrators. There’s an idea person and then there’s the person that loves to bring those ideas to fruition. It’s important to understand that one isn’t better than the other, because without the other neither of them can be useful. The book also comes with a test to determine whether you are a visionary or an integrator.

I hope this is enough insight into these books that you know which ones you need to add to your 2020 reading list. We are all living our own lives, these books resonate with me and where I am at. These are what worked for me and my goals. Wherever you are in your business, the more content you can consume, the more your life and business will grow. Where you are is where you’re supposed to be. Find a topic that gets a fire going in your belly that you can pursue. Pursue that which excites you. Don’t let what other people love sway you unless it’s aligned with where you are and where you want to be at the end of 2020.

Other business books I read in 2019:

• The Ideal Team Player by Pactrick Lencioni

• Traction by Gino Wickman

• Put Your Dream to the Test by John Maxwell

• The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle

My 2020 Business Book List:

• Profit First by Mike Machalowicz

• Radical Candor by Kim Scott

• The Founder and The Force Multiplier by Adam Hergenrother

• Dare to Lead by Brene Brown

• Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott

• The Millionaire Real Estate Investor by Gary Keller

• High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard

Subscribe to the Podcast

I am grateful you were here for today’s episode! To make sure you don’t miss out on future episodes, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast. Click here to subscribe on iTunes.

In order to help others find this podcast and help inspire them, I would love for you to leave a review of the podcast. Share something that motivated you, or something that helped you reframe the way you approach your life and goals. I’d love to hear how you’re pursuing your best self. Click here to review the show on iTunes. You can go to “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Your comments are greatly appreciated!

More Episodes You’d Be Interested In

Episode 14: My Top 5 Personal Development Reads in 2019

Episode 13: Set Goals You Actually Care About

Episode 8: Pursue You Picks: Do Less